Author: The Spiritual Social

  • Romantic Realist

    This post is more of a playlist than anything else. To remind myself and others that love is still possible and that it can be found in the irregularities, mistakes and issues of everyday life. One of the least sentimental and most romantic rock bands, whose music stood the test of time, has been the American band The National. I used to religiously listen to them in high-school, specifically their brilliantly undertstated album ‘Alligator’. Then I got the pleasure of seeing them live in the Netherlands at the Lowlands festival and in special gig at Edinburgh’s Queen Hall, which I was fortunate enough to live in close proximity to, at that time.

    And because ysterday, I drank some champagne for Christmas and Youtube randomly started playing ‘Quiet light’ in the background, just as the clock turned to midnight, I thought I’d put together a top 10 of my favourite love songs from The National with some lyrics that stand out to me. So courtesy of singer Matt Berninger (an Aquarius Sun) and the band, here are the songs I most listen to when I want to feel loved and hopeful:

    1. Brainy : You know I keep your fingerprints in a pink folder in the middle of my table / You’re the tall kingdom I surround / Think I better follow you around / You might need me more than you think you will / Come home in the car you love, brainy brainy brainy
    2. Conversation 16 : I’ll try to be more romantic / I wanna believe in everything you believe / I was less than amazing / Do not know what all the troubles are for / I fall asleep in your branches / You’re the only thing I ever want anymore
    3. Val Jester : Build a fire for Val Jester / Build a room for your love / Take your time when you tell her / How she lives in your blood
    4. Quiet Light : But I’m learning to lie here in the quiet light / While I watch the sky go from black to grey/ Learning how not to die inside a little every time / I think about you and wonder if you are awake
    5. Start a War : Whatever went away, I’ll get it over now / I’ll get money, I’ll get funny again / Walk away now and you’re gonna start a war
    6. Terrible Love : It’s a terrible love and I’m walkin’ with spiders / It’s a terrible love and I’m walkin’ in / This quiet company
    7. The system only dreams in total darkness : Maybe I listen more than you think / And I can tell that somebody sold you / We said we’d never let anyone in / We said we’d only die of lonely secrets
    8. I need my girl : I am good, I am grounded / Davy says that I look taller / But I can’t get my head around it / I keep feeling smaller and smaller
    9. City middle : You said “I think I’m like Tennessee Williams” / I wait for the click, I wait, but it doesn’t kick in / I think I’m like Tennessee Williams / I wait for the click, I wait, but it doesn’t kick in
    10. About Today : Hey, are you awake? / Yeah, I’m right here / Well can I ask you /About today? /How close am I / To losing you?

    With universal love,

    Lexi

  • The Birth-chart of Santa Claus

    Norman Rockwell shows Santa Claus changing his itinerary depending on whether children were good – or extra good (1939). Photograph: Apic/Getty Images

    It’s been a while since I wrote a light-hearted post and seeing as Christmas is just around the corner, I thought I would indulge a deep curiosity of mine and take you on a fun, astrological trip as well: What exactly is Santa’s zodiac sign? And could I track down his birth-date, time and place? And once cast, what planets would I find in this famous, jolly man’s chart? Let’s investigate 🙂 I begin my search at the source, more precisely the website santaclaus.com. If you use the search bar to look for Santa’s birthday you get redirected to a page in which you are being told the fun fact of the day: that Santa’s birthday is the 15th of March. Wow, that was easy – Santa is a Pisces Sun, just like me, whoopie! Ok, but a true investigator looks for more facts before drawing a conclusion. So I do a similar search on the website that is in charge of Santa’s yearly correspondence and the Santaverse, called elfontheshelf.com and am being given the same result. Double match! But this is suspicious, why are we not given any other details about Santa’s birth? Just the fact that this date is thrown around on the websites concerned with Santa’s lore is not enough to convince me that it is the truth of the matter.

    So I take a different approach and I run quick searches for Santa Claus on Wikipedia and Britannica in order to dive a bit deeper into the history behind Santa’s life and the circumstances of his birth. Results show me that the name Claus could be the short form of Nicholaus and that celebrating Santa Claus’ arrival on Christmas Eve was an extension of the celebration of Saint Nicholas’ name day, which takes place on the 6th of December, a mere couple of days before the Winter Solstice or Christmas (21st-25th of December). I always thought it was weird how we celebrated as children both Saint Nicholaus and then also Santa Claus at a short distance one from the other, and how they both had links to gift-giving and the moral reprimand of being a good enough child to earn gifts. Armed with flashback of my childhood, I remained intrigued and continued searching.

    As I was searching I pondered that the moral and generous qualities of Saint Nicholas would fit well with a Sagittarius Sun birthday, making him ruled by Jupiter, the Great Benefic, an energy of generosity, optimism, growth and excess. But I found this Wikipedia explanation as to why, Saint Nicholas gradually become associated with the image of Santa Claus and attributed the habit of giving gifts to children:

    “During the Middle Ages, often on the evening before his name day of 6 December, children were bestowed gifts in his honour. This date was earlier than the original day of gifts for the children, which moved in the course of the Reformation and its opposition to the veneration of saints in many countries on 24 and 25 December. The custom of gifting to children at Christmas was propagated by Martin Luther as an alternative to the previous very popular gift custom on St. Nicholas, to focus the interest of the children to Christ instead of the veneration of saints. Martin Luther first suggested the Christkind as the bringer of gifts. But Nicholas remained popular as gifts bearer for the people.[8][9]

    Interesting. And in this context, I am slightly perplexed as to why Santa Claus is officially described as celebrating his birthday on March 15th? Why not make it 6th of December then? Traditionally it would make some sense as both Sagittarius and Pisces used to share the same planetary ruler before the discovery of Neptune during the Autumnal Equinox of 1846; both zodiac signs were ruled by Jupiter, or Great Jove, but this shared ruler hypothesis isn’t enough to help me make sense of why these two dates are competing for Saint Nicholas’ birthday. I am nosy and somewhat dissatisfied with this facile association, so I click on the Saint Nicholas wikipedia page and I am sent to this promising lead:

    Saint Nicholas of Myra[a] (traditionally 15 March 270 – 6 December 343),[3][4][b] also known as Nicholas of Bari, was an early Christian bishop of Greek descent from the maritime city of Patara in Anatolia (in modern-day Antalya ProvinceTurkey) during the time of the Roman Empire.[7][8] 

    Amazing! Now I have something to work with. It seems that Nicholas of Myra was a bishop born during the time of the Roman Empire, on the 15th of March in what is now modern-day Kaş in Antalya, a region of Turkey. After a lifetime of service to Christianity, he died at the age of 73 on the 6th of December, a day which became associated with his name, as after his death he entered the Christian canon and became sanctified. But because of the Christian reformation that took place during the Middle Ages, Nicholas’ celebration became associated with Christmas and the act of giving gifts to children. In a nutshell: he was born in March and he died in December, this is why we have these two dates!

    Ok, all of these aspects to the side, let’s cast a chart for the date of 15th of March 270 BC for the region of Patara/modern day Kaş in Antalya, Turkey. I first check the coordinates of the ancient city of Patara to the ones generated in the location provided by the birth data entry generator for the town of Kaş, and they are almost perfect aligned. However, I encounter another obstacle in that the calculator follows the Gregorian calendar and seems to stop generating charts before the year of 1582 AD. I could adjust this date by adding the particle ‘jul’ next to the year, so I do exactly that. Seeing how difficult it was to find his birth-day and the exact location of his birth, I’m giving up on the idea of there being a recorded actual time of his birth, so we’ll have to let go of knowing Santa’s Ascendant (for the time being). The final input data I have resembles a magic formula at this point, but it allows me to cast his chart and I get this image below:

    Fig. A – The birth chart of Santa Claus with his birth-place included

    Oh my God! A look inside Santa Claus’ chart, which is probably the best Christmas gift ever 🙂 I’ll take a short break from my excitement and let you know that there is another method for checking the planetary positions in the sky for the given date (15th March 270 BC) and that is to track down the ephemeris generated by astro.com for that specific year and look up the month of March of that year. It took me a while to track down such a specific ephemeris but following this link opens up a vault of astrological knowledge from before our Christian era. After searching for the year, the month and the day, I generated this screenshot:

    Fig. B – The position of the planets in the sky generated by the astro.com ephemeris for the year 270 BC

    As you can see from the images above, we now have two charts packed with astrological data pertaining to Santa’s birth. Fig. A is the more correct one, as it includes Santa’s birth-place which is not something that was used in the creation of the ephemeris in Fig. B. We can use the second chart just to compare the accuracy of the outer-planetary transits, a couple of his personal planets (excluding the Moon’s position which is strongly tied to the birth-place) and the position of the nodes of the Moon and Lilith as a significant asteroid (data on Chiron is sadly not available). Remarkably we see the same pattern: Santa was born with a Pluto in Scorpio (just like Millennials!), a Uranus in Gemini (a transit which is coming up in 2025), a Saturn in Leo, a Jupiter in Gemini conjunct Lilith (he would’ve experienced his Jupiter return, this year in 2024!) and a North Node in Cancer/South Node in Capricorn conjunct Neptune in Cancer (talk about a destiny of being associated with nurturing children, wow!). Needless to say, my mind is blown…

    Let’s take a closer look at the first figure and Santa’s personal placements. So, he was born as an altruistic and spiritual Pisces Sun, with a Moon in Gemini – which would make him a bit of a sceptic and trickster, if his Moon would not be in a conjunction to Jupiter, granting him a generous and faithful heart and access to expansive and loving emotions. Not only that but his lunar energy is also conjunct an unripe Mars in Gemini at the 0 degrees and Uranus, who is operating very well in the friendly and child-like energy of Gemini, thereby ensuring that Santa’s generous optimism is delivered to people, in surprising and unexpected ways. Gemini is also the sign of toys and toy-making, puppets and pulling strings, and we see how Santa literally has the spontaneous gift-giving of toys to little ones tattooed in his chart!

    That good and bad dichotomy is also present in his chart, as both Pisces and Gemini are flexible Water and Air signs, who often pendulate between being moral and immoral, kind and mischievous, honourable and treacherous; simply put they can be walking-talking contradictions. The other part of his chart which speaks about his destined connection to children is his Neptune in Cancer (a motherly and family-oriented sign) sitting in conjunction to his North Node in Cancer (a point of growth in life that is connected to feelings, artistry, sensitivity and nurturance). I can see that it wasn’t easy for Santa to walk the path of being generous and loving, since his comfort zone is one of frugality, stoicism, hardship and financial discipline (South Node in Capricorn). Santa could’ve been quite miserly before he became well-known for his generous distribution of gifts across the Globe, and it was told that he was born in a wealthy family of Greek Christians who sadly died during an epidemic. This prompted young Nicholas to give his riches to the poor and conduct others acts of kindness such as helping the three daughters of a devout merchant get married even in the absence of dowries and then resurrecting three children, who had been murdered and pickled in brine by a butcher planning to sell them as pork during a famine. We see how money and death (South Node in Capricorn) are linked to losing his family, helping women and children (North Node in Cancer) and how these themes are intertwined into his legacy and destiny.

    I also find it interesting how Santa was years ahead of his peers in his behaviour and altruism for the plight of women and children. He was born with a Venus in Aquarius conjunct Mercury, which makes him a unique individual, with a piercing intelligence and a capacity to notice and reflect upon the state of society. He was also weird and aloof, with a propensity for scientific discoveries rather than casual chit-chat and heartfelt declarations of love. Santa was solution-oriented and forward-thinking and he had more friendships than passionate love affairs or romantic pleasures. This latter character trait is highlighted by the fact that his Venus in Aquarius is opposed by Saturn in Leo, which made him struggle to make wealth and hold on to it, and it also made him purify his relationships of Ego and basic desires, because most of his desires remained unfulfilled or frustrated (such as falling in love, getting married or having children, desires we all have but which remained for Santa limited or blocked).

    Seeing as he struggled to have a family of his own, little remained left for solitary Santa but to offer his life to the service of God and to sublimate his unfulfilled family desires by offering gifts to children and performing acts of kindness to help struggling families. With so much Air in his chart (4 planets in Gemini and 2 in Aquarius), Santa Claus was truly a man, light-years ahead of his time and I guess he became enlightened early on in his life and struggled to fit in and cope with the muck and mire of the human condition. He needed to intellectualize his experiences in order to move past them, and Santa did have his share of traumatic memories: he experienced famine, an epidemic, the loss of his family and he was beaten and robbed and yet he chose to do good and to protect those who were vulnerable. Because of his choices and his faith, he left behind a legacy of compassion that far exceeds the act of giving gifts to children around the Winter Solstice (although that in itself is a worthy thing to be remembered by). I can honestly say, I am seeing Santa in a completely different light now, one which goes beyond the ruby-cheeked fellow notoriously popularised by 1950’s American Coca Cola ads. Armed with this precious new knowledge about his chart, here is a beautiful visual history of Santa Claus to help you doze off to, on Christmas eve.

    With universal light,

    Lexi

  • Light a Fire

    Zach Alan The Ritual. Taken from https://www.diyphotography.net/photographer-created-fantastic-light-painting-fire/

    Today marks the Winter Solstice, or Yule as the pagans call it. The longest night of the year, and just tuning into any news channel, it certainly seems so from a political and social point of view. I woke up at 7 am in the morning because my phone’s battery died and the affirmations, I was listening to in order to reprogram my mind to maintain a more positive outlook, had stopped. The morning looked exceedingly grey, with a thick coating of clouds ominously looming over the district in Bucharest under which I live. I say ‘under’ because lately everything has been feeling somehow above me, on top of me, gently crushing me into a haunting sense of submission. And I’m not in the habit of submitting. As I opened my eyes, slightly irritated that my dream had to end, there was just silence in the room, accompanied by my breathing and the sounds of my upstairs neighbours heavy, intermittent and always difficult-to-predict knocking. To counter-act the sense of dread I was feeling, I got up to recharge my phone, I pressed play on my laptop so it could unleash some soft, jazz music and moved around and woke my trio of cats who gradually made a little barrage of cuddly fur around my ankles. Making some coffee then opening up this blank page I felt like I should write something empowering and useful about the energy of the Winter Solstice. Needless to add, but I was struggling in this task. I feel like I owe it to my crew, my online community to inspire them to feel better, and yet I myself feel low on energy and uninspired to celebrate anything. My body seems to be in shutdown mode for a few weeks now and it just wants to sleep and disappear into dreams. The fact that I wake up to a reality in which everything seems unstable, dark and hopeless doesn’t help.

    Against this lethargy, I try to resuscitate my body with long walks, warm and bitter cups of coffee, sweet homemade jam and affirmations, and I have some success in this endeavour, although in some moments the heaviness which I perceive in my environment is so palpable that it just overwhelms any efforts to combat it with hope and light-heartedness; like a juggernaut of despair and darkness, the Zeitgeist haunts me and moves steadily without any persuasion to do otherwise. I normally enjoy my solitude as I find a lot of space to create and time to listen to my inner voice, but the heaviness surrounding my heart is blocking me from being creative at present. So the silence and solitude in which I find myself feels hard to endure, rather than nourishing and calming, like it used to feel. I keep thinking whom to ask for help, what powerful force can I align with, in order to generate more light and to find purpose and hope? Whom do I turn to when my inner light is barely a candle-light fire, and needs some spiritual…gasoline, in order to burn brighter? I figure that if people usually have disappointed me with their lack of courage and consistency in my life, then what exists in the world beyond the veil, may be the answer I am searching. During trying time, we may ask the gods for help with lighting up our inner fire; and our ancestors will most likely, respond to us in a positive way if we turn to them for help.

    The deities associated with Yule are commonly known as light-bringers and Earth-nurturers, such as the Japanese, Amaterasu – Goddess of the Sun & Heaven or the Greek Demetra – Goddess of the Harvest & Seasons or the Nordic Baldur – God of Light, Beauty and Purity. But seeing as the Sun is tethering in between the constellations of Sagittarius and Capricorn around the time of Yule, and as these are Fire and Earth astrological signs, other heavy and rather darker deities are also invited to the holiday table, deities such as Hades – the Greek Lord of Death and the Underworld or Papa Legba – the Voodoo Gatekeeper of the Spirit World or Hel – the Norse Goddess of Death and the Frozen Underworld. Perhaps the most interesting Goddess is Persephone (also known as Cora to the ancient Romans), as she represents a mediator between ground and underground. In December she is presumed to nestle under the Earth, joining her husband Hades in their wintery nest, as her mother Demeter has frozen the ground and blocked the growth of vegetation until her daughter safely returns to her from her dark, romantic journey. It is only with intense prayer and adequate rituals that one may awaken Persephone from her sepulchral slumber and one must do with care, as when you awaken the Goddess of the Underworld you also bring with her the cobwebs and dark mysteries of the world she currently inhabits. If, however the task is achieved, she is one of the most powerful ally you can summon to help you manifest spell-work in December, the type of spell-work that may help you balance your mental health.

    Illustration of Goddess Persephone by Gleiver Prieto

    This is because around Yule, it is assumed that a powerful energetic portal opens up and in this way, any spells, affirmations, intensions, sigils and magic artefacts can be more easily manifested and charged with magic; especially, if you dedicate any of these magic-infusing rituals to a specific deity. In her book, The Goddess in the Shadow, Allycia Rye describes how by using flower petals, dark chocolate, 4 green candles, pomegranate seeds and sweet-smelling salts for a herb bath, you can devise a simple ritual to invoke Persephone, the mediator between earth and under-earth around Yule-tide:

    Persephone’s ritual should be done during the full moon (…) To begin this ritual, you must make an offering to Persephone asking her for her wise counsel. Once the moon has risen, find a path of garden. It’s best if it has flowers with blossoms or vegetables, but any path of growing things can do. Take your offering of the dark chocolate and the pomegranate seeds with you. Sit among the growing plants. Feel their joy. Envision Persephone coming back to Earth from the Underworld. Feel the happiness of that welcome from the world around you. Place the offerings among the plants. Meditate on the reason why you think Persephone’s guidance could be so important to you. Meditate on each issue separately. And then with humility, ask Persephone to guide you through her wisdom. Sit for some time longer, clearing your mind into calmness. Once you’ve finished your mediation, go in and run a warm bath. Put the Epsom salts, herbs and flower petals in the water. Light the green candles, put one at each corner of the bathtub. Turn on nature music. Now step into the bath and relax completely, body, mind and soul. Let the healing powers of the herbal bath attend to your wounds inside and out. In the days and weeks following, watch for repeated images or sightings of bats or butterflies, or any of Persephone’s other symbols (…) In the night, before going to sleep you might say a version of this: Beloved Goddess Persephone, the night has come, the moon is risen, the sun is asleep, and it is time for rest. I humbly ask you to protect me. Keep me safe and surrounded by love, until the sun returns.”

    If going around your neighbourhood in search of available gardens isn’t really your cup of tea on cold December days, you may want to try these low-effort recipes that soothe the stomach lining and may help you mark the Winter solstice with a special memory. In A Tea Witch’s Grimoire: Magickal Recipes for your Tea Time, S. M. Harlow offers the following concoction:

    To bond with the Spirit of Light, here is a wishful tea ritual. Set the space with a sparkling white altar cloth with three blue and three white candles. Use a purified glass bowl to hold your herbs and a teakettle for the water. If you truly wish to follow the old ways, it is said that the first full moon after Yule is considered to be the most powerful moon of the whole year. If you wish, you may do this ritual then. Blend: 1 teaspoon black tea; 2 tablespoon dried apricot bits; 2 tablespoons dried figs, 1 dash nutmeg, 1 stick cinnamon, 1 vanilla bean. As you blend each herb within your cleansed bowl, imbue the mix with your energy and intentions. Bring the cinnamon stick and whole vanilla bean together and visually bind them towards yourself with a long white string to create a wishing wand. Light the white and the blue candles and place them surrounding your bowl to empower the blend. Add a tablespoon of the blend to an infuser (or double the amount for a pot of tea) and surround the pot with clear quartz or emeralds. Heat your water to 205 degrees. Cover the tea with water and hold your hands over the brew. Focus your intent on what you wish for the season, filled with harmony and abundance. Brew for 5 to 6 minutes. Leave the wishing wand within your vessel. Add milk and sweeten with honey if you wish and use the want to stir clockwise to activate the spell. Just before serving, recite this blessing: As the winter cold rushes in, and we are put to rest, may our dreams find their reality, and our wishes blessed. The Sun shall bring them into the light, to await our warm awakening, and there we shall find our wishes calling.

    And in terms of cooking something delicious and memorable, in Festive: Recipes for Advent, authors Julia Stix and Eva Fischer recommend the following dish to warm up the longest and potentially coldest night of the year:

    Ingredients: 60 g stale bread, 2 eggs, salt, pepper, 250 ml milk, 1 small onion, 170 g butter, some parsley, 800 g mushrooms, 2 shallots, 200 ml cream, 50 g grated parmesan, olive oil.

    Mushroom Ragout with Bread dumplings – Finely dice the bread roll. Transfer to a bowl. Whisk the eggs and salt to taste with the milk. Pour the mixture over the bread. Finely chop the onion. Melt the butter in a frying pan over medium heat and sweat the onion until softened. Add the onion to the bread mixture and combine well. Leave to rest for 1 hour. Shape the mixture into a thick sausage and wrap tightly in a wet cloth napkin or clean tea towel. Tie the roll securely with twine. Bring a saucepan of salted water to the boil, add the wrapped roll and simmer gently for 40 minutes. For the mushroom ragout, carefully clean the mushrooms. Cut any small mushrooms in half and slice any larger ones. Peel and finely dice the shallots. Heat the oil in a frying pan. Add the shallots and sweat until translucent. Add the mushrooms and fry over high heat, stirring continuously, until beginning to soften. Reduce the heat to low. Pour in the cream and simmer, uncovered for 10 minutes. Add the parmesan just before the end of the cooking time. Season with salt and pepper. Rinse the parsley, pat dry and finely chop the leaves. Stir into the ragout. remove the dumpling roll from the saucepan and drain well. Unwrap and cut the roll unto thick slices. Drizzle with the melted butter, sprinkle with chopped parsley and serve with the mushroom ragout.

    Illustration of Mushroom Ragout with Bread dumplings by Julia Stix

    And finally, if you require the presence of a specific animal spirit during these dark days to give you courage and help you feel protected, then call upon the Wolf Spirit. Described by Cecilia Lattari in her book Herbana Witch as “solitary yet part of the pack, the wolf knows how to be both a leader and a follower, but his spirit always remains intact. In fairy tales, he often embodies mystery, the unknown or the sacred. Because he is linked to initiation, the wolf presides over winter, which is an initiation for us to spring into rebirth”. It could be that the current low mood in which I find myself is just a marker of the seasonal affective disorder induced by winter time and the low light in the environment. Perhaps invoking a deity, taking a herb bath, cooking a comforting meal, matching with a spirit animal and brewing tea with a magical touch may help soothe a tired soul, but nothing truly lights a fire inside like contact with another human being. The sad reality and the reason for my present sorrow is the fact that it has been so painful to connect with other people in the past year, as most people are tired, irritated, angry and desperate. It is also notoriously difficult to make friends or trust other people, the older you grow. Exchanging energy with others this year felt like a game of passing on the pain, from my heart to yours. This is why, it often felt easier to retreat from the social world and rest within solitude; to not bother and to remain somewhat calm in a storm of unpredictability and chance. Within this storm, I found that pets offered the most reliable presence and this is why my pet family was among some of the few things that grew this year.

    I think that perhaps, in spite of the challenges of being alive during such chaotic times of deep social unrest, it may still be worth being here for each other and finding the light within our selves, that inner spark that helps switch other people on to the reality that they too harbour a fire within, a fire that will need tending to and a bit of discipline to stoke into a flaming warmth. Only if we continue to do these little things for each other, if we continue to remind each other of the fire within, will be able to make the best of the surrounding darkness. And this responsibility will become even greater as Saturn and Neptune will slowly move next year from a Water sign (Pisces) into the first sign of the zodiac, the protector of the primordial fire, Aries. Inevitable there will be limits to our inner fire but also a cessation of conflict and aggression across the world. Knowing this, why not become a little, local Prometheus and steal fire from your sources of inspiration, from prayers to the gods? The once this is accomplished give this fire back, place it where it belongs: into the heart of people. So that we may find the energy and drive to be confident enough to implement a creative, rich and sensory world, one in which we will enjoy waking up into.

    With universal love,

    Lexi

  • A Year in Movies

    Mariora Sterian in a movie still of Who is calling me (1979)

    I saw this Saturday a unique screening of ‘Lonesome’ (1928) at the Romanian Picturehouse and since Neptune turned direct two days ago, I wanted to write about how its highest manifestatons in reality (artistic creations, such as movies) have influenced me this year. I also am writing this, out of a selfish need, to keep track and to maintain a somewhat personal inventory of my recent past. Two of the simple pleasures I allowed myself this year have been going to the cinema to watch movies and drinking tap beer/coffee in nice pubs and gardens in Bucharest. These were two cheap ways to get out of the house and enjoy being ‘social’, while also keeping to myself, because as much as I wanted to be surrounded by people I also needed a lot of personal space to just ‘be’, and to process some difficult feelings: the sadness of witnessing my father’s health decaying, the personal dissapointment of being rejected in all of my romantic connections, the heart-break of not being able to do what I love as the very low demand for my business’ services prompted me to take on a string of unsuccessful corporate jobs, the anxiety of the economy flailing and the fear of dying alone. To escape from all of these real failures and pressures, I took my tired soul to the cinema to occassionaly revitalize it. Life felt more manageable if I temporarily surrendered it to glamourous people, projected on a large, intimidating screen.

    As a consequence of this, I saw many movies, as many as I could afford. I went to the cinema whenever I got a chance to see something new, interesting or worthy of being seen on the big screen. There were some notable flops (I saw Past Lives, The Crow and Kinds of Kindness and they pissed me off and I just left the cinema, which is something I don’t usually do with levity). Surprisingly, I also saw two musicals and loved them: the gorgeous Swing Time (1936) and the colourful The Young Girls of Rochefort (1967) (and I am not a musical person). So in the following, I want to write about those movie experiences which I remember, those I enjoyed or that at least rattled me in some way and have given me some food for thought.

    Barbara Kent & Glenn Tryon in a beach movie still from Lonesome (1928)

    The first movie I saw, was in the first week of January of this year. I was intuitively lead towards the cinema, after I had a couple of days of existential dread and couldn’t stop crying. Because I work from home, I needed to get out of my house and do something social, so I went to a lovely cafe, called La Luz, which happens to be conveniently placed near the Romanian Picturehouse. After a large and comforting coffee, I dragged my melancholy to the cinema and cured it by witnessing Cary Grant (a Capricorn Sun), my favourite vintage Hollywood star, drive planes into snowy mountains in Only Angels Have Wings (1939) At the opposite end of the cinematic spectrum I experienced, there is the memory of a calm and warm November evening, when I saw at the Elvira Popescu Cinema the silent film The Polish Dancer / Bestia (1917) with Polish actress Pola Negri (another Capricorn Sun), an event which included a live music band and was delightful! In between these two events, came a flurry of other movies.

    One weird experience which stuck with me for a while was watching Burt Lancaster in The Swimmer (1968), an outwardly sunny and yet psychologically bleak movie about loss. Solaris (1972) and The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1920) come to mind as well, two movies which look incredible in the cinema and kind of strange on my laptop’s screen. The poetry, spiritual struggle and sadness of Solaris just hits differently when you see it on the wide screen, it seems to gather appropriate cosmic proportions. Then came Anouk Aimee’s ridiculous beauty in Lola (1961) bringing some liveliness to an otherwise superficial and forgetable movie experience. Then there was a surprisingly heartfelt and endearing movie called Slow (2023) with a unique topic: a dancer and a sign language interpreter meet and fall in love, only to discover that one of them is asexual and they have to find creative ways of being intimate together, ways that go beyond the sexual. It was fascinating and well-played and it made me feel cozy inside.

    There was also Beetlejuice Beetlejuice (2024), which was strangely released in September instead of November in the cinemas in Bucharest, making me feel like Halloween came early this year (and despite criticism, I actually had a lot of fun watching it). On a gloomy and rainy April day, I saw Manhattan Murder Mystery (1993) a goofy film by disgraced director Woody Allen. And during the summer, I absolutely loved Queendom (2023), a stylish and heartfelt documentary about the young life of LGBTQ artist and activist Jenna Marvin, who risked persecution from the Russian regime for her bold expression of her personality (I fell in love with Jenna’s courage and will write a separate article on her upcoming Saturn return in Aries in 2025, which promises to be majestic on a creative level).

    Another movie that stayed with me and left me speechless with its silent, organised and blatant horror has been The Zone of Interest (2023), a movie that is so important in the current political climate in which we continue to witness the rise of far-right groups across the world. Uniquely, I saw two documentaries about the lives of notable women who created art under oppresive regimes (and to which I will dedicate a separate article): one about the poet Nina Cassian called The Distance between Me and Myself (2018) and the other about the Czech photographer Libuse Jarcovjakova called I’m Not Everything I Want to Be (2024). In the same vein, 2024 has been a great year for my cinematic education about old Romanian films. I had the good luck of seing a number of movies from female directors created during the communist regime. I really liked A light on the 10th floor/O lumina la etajul 10 (1984) a movie by Malvina Ursianu, about a woman who comes out from prison and is given an apartment in a newly-built block of flats in Bucharest; although free, she can’t rest because she feels constantly surveilled and it is only through her relationships with the common people around her that she regains her emotional stability.

    Donatas Banionis in a movie still of Solaris (1972)

    I really enjoyed seeing how Bucharest looked like in those archival images and how the blocks we take for granted today (and belittle so much), looked like back then, when they were considered luxury accommodation. It was a humbling moment of appreciation for me, as I bought my flat back in 2023 in a building created back in 1966 and I felt awkwardly conscious about it. By the same director, I also saw Gioconda fara suras / The Monalisa without a smile (1969) and I liked the cinematography of it and the freedom and social status of the main character, a female engineer with a complicated love life. I literally didn’t see any movie like it, and many movies back in that era created in a similar Nouvelle Vauge style, were geared towards the many adventures of male characters. It felt empowering to see this meditative and stylish film, especially since none of these movies directed by communist female directors were ever showcased on our Tvs (instead we got the usual diet of Miscellaneous Brigade/BD films, Liceeni/ The Graduates (1986) and Sergiu Nicolaescu films, repeated ad nauseam).

    I also really liked a movie directed by Letitia Popa called Who is calling me / Cine ma striga (1979), about a topic you don’t get to see in a lot of other movies, a young woman accussed of prostitution who gets sent to a reform camp on the outskirts of a communist city. She’s operating heavy machinery on the construction site while trying to fit in with all the other workers, getting her ambitious room-mate to like her and keeping the romantic attentions of men at bay, and all throughout it she looks like an angel. It again teleported me into a world that my parents grew up in, a world I fortunately don’t get to experience myself. I also saw a movie called Diminetile unui baiat cuminte / The mornings of a good boy (1967) but although I thought the father-son conflict was compelling, it seemed to work like a forced and communist version of Rebel without a cause (1955), and I didn’t like it very much.

    Portrait of Dorina Lazar in character for her role in Angela keeps moving forward / Angela merge mai departe (1982)

    The highlight for me has been a movie called Angela keeps moving forward / Angela merge mai departe (1982), which I actually went twice to see, just so I could gain courage. I thought that if Dorina Lazar’s taxi-driving, rum drinking, tough woman character can find love in the sparse and grim communist landscape, then so will I one day; as long as (and just like the title says) I keep moving forward and let go of looking back in anger. July has been a really eventful month for me as I was not only very busy with work but I also saw the most movies since I needed a cool place to escape the city’s scorching heat. I saw beautiful classics like Spellbound (1945), Roman Holiday (1953) and Sunset Boulevard (1950) and the weird and funny Wild at Heart (1990). I saw the obscure These Three (1936) which I kind of enjoyed (it was also my very first Merle Oberon movie!), and the brilliant M – Eine Stadt sucht einen Mörder (1931). I was completely floored by Bette Davis’ performances All about Eve (1950) and Jezebel (1938) and sadly underwhelmed by the self-destructive, precious beauty of Margareta Paslaru in Un film cu o fata fermecatoare / A movie with a charming girl (1966).

    Furthermore, movies marked most of the holidays for me this year: I spent Valentine’s Day eating cherry chocolates and watching Antoine and Antoinette (1947) create a confusing, romantic storm in their lives and then I spent Halloween in a packed cinema watching a special screening of Late Night with the Devil (2023). All in all, I think I spent 2024 not really being here, but someplace else.

    After writing all of this, I kind of have the feeling that I got some sort of disparate cinematic education this year, something which in my heart, I had always wanted to achieve. I feel like the transit of Saturn in Pisces increased my cinema-going discipline and heightened my obsession with old movies, vintage films and bygone eras, who for aproximately 2 hours at a time, gave me a brief reprieve from a world which stubbornly kept reminding me, how little I am welcomed and how little I fit in. Perhaps, that’s were the Neptune magic lies: I’ll help you forget who you are by pushing you to escape into the stories of other people, so you may finally find yourself as you will inevitably separate from them once the movies end. Just like astrologer Liz Green writes in her seminal book, Neptune and the Quest for Redemption (2000) :

    This protean power to identify with the psyche of the other, and to effortlesly become that which the other secretly longs for, is one of the greatest artistic and therapeutic gifts of the Neptunian temperament. But if an essential core of integrity and self-honesty is lacking (…) then the gift becomes a great danger (p.118)

    After all 2024, was a year of moving images for me, the original meaning of the word ‘film’; moving images which told human stories, and from these stories my inner child was learning what to keep and what to let go of, especially as some of these moving images impacted my memory and helped it dive deep in order to bring out some old fragments from the past which I needed to re-analyse. By transit, Neptune (almost perfectly conjunct my Sun) made me into a memory diver and by keeping me in a dark fog throughout this year, by obscuring my Ego and my sense of personal value and power, Neptune had therefore allowed me the freedom to just exit, beyond the limitations of who I thought I was. It was strangely difficult to be held in such uncertainty, and still am as the fog hasn’t completely lifeted now that Neptune turned direct. But slowly, as Saturn will shift from Pisces and into Aries in 2025, the time will come to start embodying this new version of the Self created out of the debris of Neptune’s cleansing escapism. And that will mark the time of a real psychological re-birth in my life, one which I am looking forward to. But for the time being ‘ssshhhh, the movie is starting’…

    With universal love,

    Lexi

  • Wicked Astrology

    Wicked film poster, image via WikiMedia Commons.

    Controversial opinion but I need to tell you that I haven’t seen Wicked yet and I don’t think I will watch it. The main reason I am writing this article is because I noticed some interesting details about the astrology of the co-stars. As a general note, I don’t like musicals or big productions. The more hyped a movie is, the less likely I am to watch it. It seems the opposite works better for my personal psychology: the more obscure something is the more likely I am to watch it. I think the only exception to this rule is if someone in the cast is really hot (ex. Kraven, the Hunter) or if the musical is the one made by Jacques Demi in 1967, called The Young Girls of Rochefort. I saw this French film this year in June, after I quit my awful corporate job and had a glass of prosecco, so I admit that the alcohol and the summer weather contributed a lot to my enjoyment of the musical (hey, I’m human, ok?). One thing that struck me hard, as I was watching the blonde Catherine Deneuve singing together with her brown-haired sister, Francoise Dorleac, was a song in that musical which mentioned astrology. In the movie the girls sing: “Nous sommes deux soeurs jumelles / Nées sous le signe des gémeaux” translated as “We are twin sisters, born under the sign of Gemini”, and they do it in such a fun and catchy way that the song sticks to your ears, promising to never let go.

    In the following, and playing upon this twin-like theme, I would like to show how Jupiter in Gemini also benefited the cast of Wicked, specifically the leading actresses Ariana Grande and Cythia Erivo. I argue that it wasn’t their individual identities but their combined talent and their on-screen partnership, an unlikely marriage of contrasts, that catapulted them to global fame, in this specific period of time. As partnerships of any kind fall under the dominion of two Air signs in astrology, Gemini and Libra, the transit of Jupiter (the Great Benefic) to any one of these signs, is bound to bring a pairing to sudden fame. To be fortunately linked to another, to cooperate, to negotiate, to blend contradictions in a fun and open-minded way are all qualities of a Jupiter in Gemini transit. To expand on this, here’s how Stephen Arroyo in his book “Exploring Jupiter: The Astrological Key to Progress, Prosperity and Potential” describes the Jupiter in Gemini energy:

    “Although traditional astrology designates Jupiter in Gemini as being in “detriment”, since it is in a sign opposite one that it rules (Sagittarius), generations of readers can only be grateful that some people are able to tell fantastic stories with a myriad of details that yet impart larger meanings. At best, Jupiter in Gemini can weave a large-scale creation through correlating many diverse details and facts. One example would be Charles Dickens, whose novels were originally published in serial form in newspapers. His writings had a major impact on public enthusiasm for social reform (…) Those with Jupiter in Gemini don’t generally consider that they are taking any risk in their intellectual endeavours, but certainly many of these people readily take risks in frank communication and in exploring ideas that are not generally considered conventional. There is an innate openness to the new and an endless curiosity. At worst, they are unfocused and have no discrimination about ideas or people. Yet, they remain constantly busy (…) In virtually all people who have Jupiter in Gemini, mental exploration and growth is a key to their self-improvement agenda.” (p. 123-125)

    A sign of cleverness and ingenuity, but also a sign that showcases an exaggeration of ideas to the point that they may get lost inside the stories they tell, the transit of Jupiter into the sign of Gemini brings about a flurry of contradictory information, as well as putting the spotlight on famous pairings. One such pairing is seen in all the movie posters promoting ‘Wicked’, and the fact that it took so long for this movie to finally be adapted to the screen and released during such a transit is nothing short of cosmic timing and divine symmetry. Moving on now, to the analysis of two actresses’ natal charts.

    Cynthia Erivo is a Sun in Capricorn tightly conjunct Mercury and Neptune, and she has a natal Moon in Taurus (an exalted placement). Her Jupiter is in Pisces and loosely conjunct her Mars (placed at the 29th anaretic degree), while her Venus is loosely conjunct Saturn (a sign of misfortune for women) and also the shocking and unpredictable planet Uranus. I can see that for Cynthia, feeling loved and valued at her true worth has been her lifelong karmic struggle, as well the fact that her relationships to women especially tend to be sudden, short-lived and transactional. Cynthia was born to stand out and become a leader and a fighter, as her destiny is marked by the North Node in Aries/South Node in Libra axis. Unfortunately, we do not have any credible data related to her Ascendant so we are missing the placement of these planets into specific astrological houses. I would guess she has an Aquarius Ascendant as her sense of style is wacky and avant-gardist, she comes across as literate and outspoken and after years of effort she spontaneously burst into global fame due to her role as a green witch in a musical called Wicked (we see here a lot of unique, outsider energy, hence why I believe Uranus may be her chart ruler); either that or a Gemini Ascendant, placing Lilith right in the most visible area of her chart.

    The most important aspects present in her chart are: the almost perfect opposition the Moon is making to her Pluto (indicating emotional strength and also having been raised by a domineering mother who had little time for her needs), and her Mars being challenged by Neptune and Uranus (and as Saturn gets closer to her Piscean Mars, she tends to have public outburst of rage, like the one related to the editing of the Wicked poster by a fan). On a more positive note she has a beautiful trine between her Neptune in Capricorn and her Moon in Taurus ensuring that she is able to bring to film the wealth of her balanced emotions and deep sensuality, and also some sextiles between her Capricorn stellium and Pluto in Scorpio and her Jupiter conjunct Mars in Pisces (the combo of a champion, a fearless soldier who always win in any competition).

    Image of Cynthia Erivo and of her birth-chart taken from: https://www.astrotheme.com/astrology/Cynthia_Erivo

    Ariana Grande is a Sun in Cancer loosely conjunct Mercury and placed in the service-prone 6th house (this is also known as the house of the witch, healing herbs and potions and diseases in ancient astrology). Her Ascendant is in Capricorn, which is usually a marker of ugliness in someone’s chart and a struggle to look good (RBFs were popularised by people with this placement), but it is conjunct stylish Uranus and dreamy Neptune, a combination which makes her seem reliable, dreamily attractive and shockingly confusing at the same time. Her Mars is in workaholic Virgo while her Venus is in Taurus (an Earthy domicile placement). Despite her watery and emotive Cancerian Sun, Ariana is a tough business woman on the inside, seeing as she has such strong, pragmatic Earth placements. What really catches my eye is her Saturn in Pisces at 0 degrees, loosely conjunct Lilith and placed in the 2nd house (as a sidenote, she shares this placement of Saturn by house but not by sign, with Taylor Swift). This means that with Wicked we are witnessing Ariana’s Saturn return (a point she is aware of since she named a song on her latest album Saturn return). Therefore, we are collectively witnessing and enjoying the reward of Saturn’s pressure to get Ariana to sign, dance and behave like a witchy fairy for the last 2 years and a half.

    So when both women cry in interviews, I believe those tears are real, because anyone born with a Sun in Capricorn and someone who survived their first Saturn return and have accomplished their dream, know the hardships, fears and pressure they had to endure in the process of attaining Saturnian perfection. We also had the whole Ethan Slater scandal, which I attribute to her natal Lilith in Pisces being activated by both transiting Neptune and Saturn. By the by, Ethan is a Sun in Gemini so he is also enjoying some increased notoriety & exposure at the moment through his partnership with Ariana. As we know, Lilith is the infamous other woman trope, the destroyer of marriages everywhere, when used for personal romantic goals and not harnessed to become an industry mogul and walk over your competitors’ heads. Lilith is ruthless, and Ariana carries this energy inside of her, no matter how many soft pink dresses she will wear to fool us all. I wouldn’t be surprised to see that as soon as her promo duties for Wicked will end, so will her love affair with Ethan; it feels to me like Ariana needed a Broadway boyfriend to promote her part in a musical – you know, a callous matchy-matchy aesthetic. I sound so jaded, gah 🙂

    Image of Ariana Grande and of her birth-chart taken from: https://www.astrotheme.com/astrology/Ariana_Grande

    To be fair, even if I don’t like her at all as an artist or woman, I think she is acing her Saturn return, as the effort put into Wicked is eerily visible (almost leading fans to speculate she has been having Ozempic and is dangerously thin). So I do respect her work ethic and how she relentlessly goes for the gold, which is something that I feel every North Node in Sagittarius person will intuitively be drawn towards, the act of winning and making a fortune. I personally think that as soon as Saturn hits Aries and her 3rd house, she may retreat from the public for a while and put on some healthy weight, as the pressure will now move away from her body (the 2nd house) and enter her communications area (the 3rd house). Either that or she will need some epic PR damage control for some of the controversial remarks she will make.

    Coming back to her natal placements, I can see that she has Pluto in Scorpio retrograde in the 10th house and loosely conjunct her Midheaven. A placement which would whole-heartedly justify why she is perceived as controversially changing her appearance and consequently her race to suit her latest releases. She is nonetheless greatly helped in her chart by her Moon in Libra conjunct Jupiter and her North Node in Sagittarius, ensuring that while she may occasionally make a lot of mistakes she will continue to grow in her fame and remain likeable and popular (because of good luck and that Saturn keeping her a consumate professional in her work).

    Coming back to their synastry, it’s important to mention a couple of details that have changed the game for me when I found out their star-signs. I think we are witnessing a game of contrasts, benefic to the career of both actresses. This favourable energy is brought to them by transiting Jupiter in Gemini, assuring them good luck, popularity and an increase in wealth through duality and partnership. Firstly, Cynthia is a Sun in Capricorn and Ariana is a Sun in Cancer, so they are exact opposites in terms of their solar astrology. Secondly, because of the obvious racial difference: Cythia is Black and Ariana is White. Thirsdly, and perhaps unimaginatively, Ariana played Glinda, the Good Witch of the South (why did it have to be a white woman though?) and Cynthia played Elphaba, the Wicked Witch of the West (all those www’s – Elphaba’s job is like the coded equivalent to the Internet, jeez). I guess that by now you can see how Jupiter in Gemini is underlining these optical differences in the promotional tour of Wicked. In addition, there are some past life links between the two actresses/singers, as we can see Cynthia’s South Node in Libra in a conjunction to Ariana’s Moon conjunct Jupiter in Libra, and Cynthia’s Saturn in Sagittarius conjunct Ariana’s North Node. This means that in a past life they may have had a teacher-disciple dynamic, with Ariana supplying the role of a mother figure or sister to Cynthia, or in another potential scenario: Cynthia being the father-figure or older brother to Ariana.

    There is a karmic kingship between these two women and Jupiter in Gemini is now making it more obvious and publicly known; as you know, Jupiter is the worst secret-keeper of the zodiac, as it is constantly bringing up the truth to the surface (so never believe a Sagittarian that tells you ‘It’s between you and me’). I think I’ll end this article here, and in true Mercurian style, I want to pass the baton to you: Have you seen Wicked? Did you like it? Why or why not? Let me know in the comments below.

    With universal love,

    Lexi

  • Escapism

    As the year draws to a close, I want to reflect on some of the most memorable and emotional gaming experiences I had in the last 12 months. 2024 has been a year in which I was gradually introduced to a variety of new games, after Stardew Valley took me ‘hostage’ since I started playing it in 2021. The gaming platform and provider, Steam played a major role in this change in my gaming, since it began to notify me of new games and offer a variety of impressive discounts. So, I gradually started looking into these new adventures and I was surprised at the range of emotions I experienced while playing them. Some of these games touched me on such a deep level that I felt transformed after I played them, and I wanted to share my impressions, in case I may inspire you to give them a try.

    1) Strange Horticulture (2022), Bad Viking

    A game with probably one of the most haunting atmospheres you could envision, Strange Horticulture is about a mysterious shopkeeper who is trying to keep her mind intact. She is putting clues together and identifying new plants, cataloguing and dealing with the townsfolk odd requests, while also trying to keep a rising depression at bay. As the shopkeeper, you also get to travel to collect plants and gather information. The plants are poetically named and the collection is large. The pervasive sense of dread that looms over the entire game matched by the constant rain, smoked oaky graphics and flowing controls make it such an engrossing play! It’s like nothing I’ve ever played before; kind of like a weird blend of Murder, She Wrote meets Plants versus Zombies meets the constant gloomy weather of Blade Runner and the heavy sadness engulfing Dark Water. The only downside of this game is that it ends too soon, as I think I finished it in roughly 4 hours. The highlight is that it has a number of alternative endings so you can play over and over again and meet a different conclusion. The same creators are now preparing a new game called Strange Antiquities, and if it’s half as good as this one, then I’m already excited about it. If you don’t enjoy daylight and like plants (which may sound like an oxymoron), give this sullen gem a try.

    2) Sally Face (2016), Portable Moose

    If Strange Horticulture grazed the surface of a potential depressive episode taking over our main character, in Sally Face issues related to murder, disfigurement, soul snatching, suicide and involvement with a satanic cult are tackle in such a direct way that it packs a powerful emotional punch. The difficult themes and gore present in the game are somewhat softened by the caricature-like drawings of the main characters and difficulty of some of the puzzles involved. Needless to say, the game begins with a night-marish situation and continues very much so for the entirety of 5 episodes. Just as a heads up: it gets worse for the main characters rather than easier for them, as they find themselves involved in a plot that is bigger than the building in which you are initially conducting your personal investigation. Time passes, characters grow but so too does the darkness and it is this passing of time and watching how they developed from deep childhood trauma, that makes the game so emotional as well as the fate of its main character and the way he manages to somehow be forever connected to the girls of his dreams (it’s not what you’d expect!).

    To be honest, Sally Face had me crying towards the end, after I compulsively played through all the episodes in just two days because I really wanted to know what was going on with Sal and his group of friends. Again, it’s not a game I would recommend to everyone as it will only please a select few, but if you have any Scorpio/Capricorn/Pisces energy in your chart and you grew up in the post-communist 90s environment listening to Nirvana’s ‘Smells like Teen Spirit’ on repeat, then you are going to love this game. And on a final note, I would say that escaping into a game in which you need to keep your character alive and to care for their depression, well this temporarily takes your mind off your own; and it’s a liberating feeling.

    3) Paradise Killer (2020), Kaizen Game Works

    At the polar opposite to Sally Face is Paradise Killer, which in my humble opinion is the best game I played in 2024! You play as the exiled investigator Lady Love Dies, a heart-adorned goddess of the law who is called back from her exiled state after serving 3M days because there was a problem in the creation of the latest version of Paradise Island, that problem being that the entire ruling council was murdered by a common citizen, one Henry Division. Until the crimes are solved, no one can escape this version of the island in order to be updated/uploaded into the new one, a more perfect version of Paradise, also known as sequence 25. What follows is sheer beauty as you get to explore paradise, collect clues and blood crystals, order funny drinks from vending machines and chat with some criminally over-developed characters.. all while enjoying some vapour-wave, synth music in the background and preparing your incriminatory case for the Judge. It’s colourful, smooth, esoteric, funny, brash and pleasant, it’s the perfect game to play during a summer holiday. And despite being a walk’n’talk adventure it never gets boring, as you always feel like there is more to discover in the kitschy-cool environment or more conversations to be had with the usual suspects. Plus Shinji is the best antidote to any creeping sadness or melancholy you may be feeling. Please, do yourself a favour and play it over the upcoming holidays.

    4) Botany Manor (2024), Whitethorn Games

    This game is the lighter, brighter and breezier alternative to Strange Horticulture. You play as botanist Arabella Green who is writing a book on the special and peculiar behaviours of rare plants. In the process you get to explore an English countryside manor, gather clues and cultivate magical flora until you grow specific plants. Even if you may feel green with envy at the gorgeous environment of Ms Green’s homestead, at least you get to practice your green thumb (ok, I’ll stop now) and escape your immediate reality in this beautifully sunlight game replete with inventive puzzles (my favourite was making the apple cider to water the seeds of the Pixie Tears pot). The graphics and game mechanics take a little bit of adjusting to, but the game leads to such a subtly heart-breaking and yet oddly empowering conclusion that you may just miss it if you don’t pay attention. Like an unfolding rose, this game is filled with minute, pretty details that will make you want to re-play it several times. I know I will.

    5) Pools (2024), Tensori

    ICONIC. This game is so innocent looking at first glance that you may be mysteriously sucked into giving it a random chance to ‘see what all the fuss is about’, only to be faced with such deep primordial fears that you feel like pushing the lid down on your laptop and seeking professional help. On the surface pools is a beautifully design minimalist, liminal masterpiece in which you get thrown from a ladder onto an odd and super clean environment in which you just walk around splashing in pools. You don’t know how you got there; you don’t know who put you there, you don’t even know how you look, nor can you look out the windows that populate the space because they are brimming with powerful white light. Are you on a spaceship? Are you an alien? Are you a person who bought a ticket to an underwater adventure-land only to be met with this string of water-filled rooms? How do you get out? And what even is out in this context? The game is advertised as “rooms filled with pools, a game which has no monsters but can invoke fears of getting lost, the dark, and tight spaces”. And wow! those fears can become so palpable: from being met with a deep howl or whispers in the dark, to walking in an unlit room knee-deep in water and randomly being touched by large inflatable ducks, to finally finding a light under the water only to see a ladder going down into the pool and a pair of human hands reaching out from below towards you.

    The worst was probably the ending to chapter one in which you have to walk on a thin sliver only to reach a small diving platform but the trick is that there is not water around you just pitch-black darkness, literally encouraging you to jump from a great height straight into the unknown/the pitch-black darkness around you. I had to gather all the courage I had to jump and once I landed into the next chapter, I went out for a run just to emotionally self-regulate. Without a doubt this game is free therapy, if you are brave enough to slide on its glistening, wet tiles and you enjoy random, self-induced thrills. By the way, at the time of writing this, I am still trying to find my way out of level 2 and I am reliant upon game maps made by more experienced players.

    6) Grim Fandango Remastered (2015), Double Fine Production

    A classic game, not only in the genre it is part of (noir adventure) but overall, a classic as part of the string of awesome Lucas Arts Entertainment Games that were released during the 90s and that populated many of our after-school hours. The first time I played it, I think I was about 14 -15ish and I was so captivated by the story and the graphics (I always had a thing for art deco and El Dia de Los Muertos, and this game combined them both!!) only to be disappointed by the game mechanics. I got perpetually stuck in the first part of the game, not really understanding how to throw the rope made of ties to the other side of the building in order to make it stick (see, this was in the dark ages, a time before the existence of play-throughs). The game was also clunky to play on an old-fashioned computer keyboard and the rising frustration that I felt eventually made me abandon the game since I had other hobbies to focus on (like painting my bedroom door while listening to Garbage or Creed). Cut to 26 years later and here I was on a cold October day when I suddenly received a notification from Steam that Grim Fandango (the remastered version) can now be purchased for 3 dollars. I clicked all the way until I heard Many Calavera’s voice enticing me to pick up the note in his info-tube and never looked back.

    And this is how I managed to fulfill a teenage dream, to finally play this game and find out exactly what actually made the fandango so grim. Oh boy, and the story is actually EPIC. It spans across years and continents, somehow driven by our main character’s (travel agent to the dead, Manuel ‘Manny’ Calavera) capacity to transform every opportunity thrown his way into a lucrative business operation: he owns a restaurant, he sails and leads a ship and all throughout it, he never stops searching for his sweetheart, a woman with a heart of gold called Mercedes ‘Meche’ Colomar. On his adventures, Manny is helped and somewhat also perturbed by his close friend, the gentle giant Glotis.

    It is a deeply funny and life-inspiring game, despite the grim nature of the proceedings with many adorable little details that give you food for thought: such as seeing skeletons transform into fertile soil for flowers once they are killed. Grim manages to tell a sweeping story about difficult topics such as death, divorce, betrayal, exile and exploitation without ever falling into melodrama and always, always making fun of itself and this is why it’s such an amazing game that reaches your heart at the same time. It’s like watching a movie, a beautifully designed, cleverly scripted, demented movie that borrows elements from Casablanca, Key Largo and the Maltese Falcon (all those Humphrey Bogart classics, which true fans will appreciate). It took me 26 years to see Meche and Manny together in that amazing final cut scene, but I think in this case the wait was certainly worth it!

    I wish I could extend this list to 10 games but that would be untrue as I only played and loved the 6 ones above. Honourable mention goes to: Potion Craft – The Alchemist Simulator, a game that is pretty decent and fun but a bit repetitive; Melatonin – a game which sounds and looks better than it actually is to play, as passing to new levels is strangely difficult and the story is uninspiring; and The Unavowed, a dark game I enjoyed playing but simply hated the ending, so it didn’t make this list. All of the above-mentioned games will be included in gameplays on my second YouTube channel The Eden Nearby, so it’s worth subscribing in order to be notified when I upload each clip. Comment down below and let me know what games you played this year, if at all, and what games have made it into your top 10.

    With universal love,

    Lexi

  • The Lesser of Two Evils

    Image of Elena Lasconi standing in front of her party’s banner
    (USR – The Union to Save Romania)

    “Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;

    Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,

    The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere   

    The ceremony of innocence is drowned;

    The best lack all conviction, while the worst   

    Are full of passionate intensity.” 

    The Collected Poems of W. B. Yeats (1989)

    If you feel that you’re in a tight spot and all the oxygen is leaving the room, then you’re not alone. I think we are all beginning to feel the collective sucker-punch of Pluto in Aquarius at the first degree. The purpose of this wave-like sucker punch is to get us to feel rattled within and to use our anger to fight against oppression. However, we may be signing our own executioner’s approval by wanting change so much that we are willing to throw away everything that civil society stands for. In the absence of rules and social norms, a military utopia may come into place: a society led by thugs, controlled by brutes and ruled by martial law. The stakes are high and so is my anxiety. Our drastic desire for social change, the rebellion against the system and the need to bring in the new at all costs (even if this new may be the implementation of neo-fascism) are all hallmarks of an immature Uranian transit (it’s immature because Pluto is currently at the first degrees of the transit, and as it progresses over 10 degrees, it then begins to ripen).

    Personally, I woke up during the preliminary elections’ day, the 24th of November, on a sunny, Sunday morning, eager to get to a voting booth and have my say against the rise of far-right candidates in my country’s elections. I left the voting booth with a heavy heart since I could pick up on the vibe of the people around me who were talking about voting for Marcel Ciolacu. However, waking up on Monday morning felt like waking up to an alternate reality. A reality in which you confusedly find out that a random candidate who very few people knew about and whom the press completely disregarded, made it as a front-runner in the race for the presidency of Romania. His name is Calin Georgescu and he is an ultra-nationalist, independent candidate. The fact that he went under the radar with this surprising win or that he allegedly relied on social media (specifically Tik Tok) to campaign and rally the votes of youth and Romanians who live outside of the country, it not the worst issue.

    As we are all trying to understand exactly who he is, facts are emerging about this man’s political past: he was close to George Simion (a thug in a neatly pressed suit who wants to radicalise Romania) and he is a staunch admirer of Vladimir Putin, to such an extent that he copied some of his photoshoots, trying to pose like him! The optimism I had in the morning when I saw that neither Marcel Ciolacu (the PSD candidate) nor George Simion (the AUR candidate) got ahead in the final round of elections was increasingly tempered. As I was researching more facts about Georgescu, I gradually became livid.

    Calin Georgescu (an Aries Sun) is now up against Elena Lasconi (a Taurus Sun) who represents the USR party, a party whose set of values and motto I don’t particularly agree with but in the wake of these results I feel left with the inevitability of choosing a candidate who will represent the lesser of two evils in this situation. And the situation is dire, not only because of the shocking realisation of the political influence of TikTok, a platform which Calin apparently used to aggressively campaign for himself (an activity which is btw illegal in Romania), but also because there’s an ongoing and brutal war at the doorstep, between our neighbouring country Ukraine and Russia. Because Georgescu has directly said he doesn’t support Ukraine and admires Putin, it would be logical that choosing a candidate who is Pro-NATO should be the careful, collective next step of Romanians. However, I doubt carefulness enters into the mix, as the population is leaning more towards ‘let’s watch it all burn down’.

    Now Lasconi declared that she is pro-EU and pro-NATO and definitively against Putin, and her presidency will guarantee our continued link to the EU and the military support it can provide us in case of a Russian expansion of conflict (not to mention that seeing a Romanian female president shake hands at future press conferences with the male, American president, Donald Trump will be a sight to behold). However, since people seem intent to vote by feeling and the optics of TikTok rather than making an educated choice, it feels like the outcome will be highly uncertain. To be fair, in the current and dysregulated political context, even making an informed decision seems like an impossible task as there is such an abundance of random opinions presented as facts, fake news, manipulated reports and hearsay that it makes the search for anything remotely truthful seem like searching for the Holy Grail.

    There is also the added problem of gender, an issue that continues to divide Romanians and has also divided Americans in their recent elections, as we saw Kamala Harris, a Black woman lose the election to Donald Trump, an aging carrot. While, I don’t believe that neither proponent for the second round of elections in my country is fit to be a good leader or can defend any of mine or my generation’s rights and values, at least I keep thinking that Lasconi will be a mildly progressive choice by virtue of potentially becoming the first female Romanian president (about time we caught up with the Republic of Moldova with this one!). Nonetheless, even if Lasconi pushes Romanian politics into a progressive era by virtue of her gender, she may promote laws and regulations that ban any kind of social progress in terms of family and LGBTQ rights (she actually distanced herself from her own daughter on this matter) and may promote Christian and traditional values which will push us backward.

    While Georgescu, with his intention of isolating Romania from NATO is a perilous choice, Lasconi could look good as an image but actually drag us back into antiquated family values. Nonetheless, Lasconi will maintain political links to the EU and she prioritizes education, and this is why I am leaning to give her my vote in the next round (and the fact that she is a woman is just an added benefit). While Georgescu is a man who pledges the same Christian and traditionalist values as Lasconi, but in addition: has continued ties to the far-right party (AUR); admires two infamous controversial Romanian leaders (Corneliu Zedreanu Colea, a violence-loving ultra-nationalist thug and Ion Antonescu, who infamously took part in the Nazi deportation and obliteration of Romanian jews during World War 2); vows he is a staunch patriot and will defend the country against war but also believes we should look up to the Kremlin; and lastly, believes that a woman’s role is to have babies and not to lead the country. So how is this any form of progress? Are we going to vote “against the system” with an intensity that may lead to our own destruction? Are we ready to slide back into being Russian serfs? My grandmother who narrowly escaped being forced to learn Russian in her primary school years, back in the 40s, may now be rolling in her grave (I should pay a visit just to check on her).

    Image of Calin Georgescu from Mediafax

    I don’t agree with either ultra-Christian and pro-nationalist opinions, as to a large extent I believe individuals can and should govern themselves in lieu of electing a representative to do it for them, especially since no one is able to represent an increasingly diversified population in this day and age. I am and I consider myself an international citizen, not just a ‘Romanian’, because the sum total of all my life’s experiences (lived out in Romania, alongside in Germany, the UK, Sweden and the US) creates who I am today. And many of us seem to forget that in an increasingly globalised world, talking about nationalist agendas or pushing towards separation and division is not only delusional but also against the flow of the current process of growth. History has indeed shown us that during times of massive growth and progress there is another counter-progressive movement which takes place simultaneously: such as how during World War 2 as women were undergoing immense cruelty and hardships, they also gained entry to jobs, they had access to the means of productions and they could wear more dynamic and flexible clothes to a larger extent than they did in the past. As we build the new, we also destroy the old. As a consequence, some sort of precarious and mysterious energetic balance is maintained.

    Keeping all of this in mind (and my poor mind does go through moments in which it feels like it may break) I am wondering which one of them will succeed two weeks from now at the December 8th elections? In this anxiety-provoking interim, my beautiful consolation is as usual, astrology. The language of the stars and the occult, that always keeps on giving. Now to be honest, I am not completely mortified by the prospect of radical change. I know that on a deep spiritual level, what we are witnessing is the effect of Pluto in Aquarius, preparing to pull us back into the deep past before pushing us to rise up and rebel, but the logical & peace-loving part of me is still upset and confused. In the following, I want to see if I can determine the outcome of the Romanian presidential elections by looking at the personal energies of each candidate. For this I turn to their birth-charts to try to understand whom will the odds favour in the end.

    Below you can see the chart of Elena Lasconi born on the 20th of April 1972 in Hateg, Romania. She is a Taurus Sun at 0 degrees, with a Cancer Moon at the 29th anaretic degree and an unknown Ascendant. I was struck by how her Sun and Moon energies, although harmoniously locked into a sextile aspect of friendship and support, are placed at the final and first degrees of the signs they represent! Not only that but what is probably the most fascinating aspect is her North Node in Aquarius at 0 degrees, a destined placement that is at the moment perfectly conjunct transiting Pluto! When Pluto comes calling on the point of your growth in this lifetime, this means that you are being led down the path of a deep mind-body-and-soul transformation. This placement also shows that with the proper support from the collective (Aquarius), Elena is destined (the North Node) to gain great power (Pluto). But it also shows that she is more emotionally more charged up (Moon at the 29th destroying degree), rather than she is able to balance her emotions under the cool light of reason and successful action (Sun at 0 degrees).

    Just by looking at these placements and I felt slightly uneasy: she is indeed traditional and a nationalist (Cancer Moon), a person who replenishes the most by being at home, in her own land and culture and surrounded by what is familiar to her. Moreover, she is meant to gradually release stubbornness and self-obsession (South Node in Leo) in favour of working in the service of other people (Pluto in Virgo retrograde). She is meant to revolutionize the way she relates to others, although at times she could come across as weird in her speech or too progressive in her applications of the law, and even slightly insane in her personal life (natal Uranus in Libra retrograde; and currently affected by the transiting South Node in Libra!). Lasconi has been criticised by the fact that she doesn’t seem to understand international politics and I see this as a manifestation of having a natal Neptune in Sagittarius retrograde; this placement does make the native feel confused in dealing with global issues, in understanding other cultures and in making sense of international regulations. Nonetheless, Lasconi may also take a spiritual approach in establishing links with other cultures and countries and she is able to bring about increased trust and compassion in her external politics, especially in terms of maritime and naval trade.

    With Lilith in Scorpio, we are dealing here with a wild character in terms of keeping secrets, dealing with issues of sex and sexuality and a person who doesn’t easily trust those closest to her. She may also idealise power, and prefer attaining it to the detriment of prioritizing her family life, or her roles as mother and wife. I like this placement because it shows she was born to be the leader of many and to subsume her Ego in service to the collective with that Leo/Aquarius axis. In a similar vein, we see here a lot of communication karma. Her natal Mercury is in Aries conjunct Chiron, which is not an ideal placement at all as she can be too direct and impolite in her speech. The benefit is that she quickly gets to the point. This placement of Mercury and Chiron also shows that it is painful for her to speak her truth without suffering in some way; and indeed, in political debates, she comes across as feisty and confrontational, often being crudely blunt and it looks as if on some level, this manner of expressing herself is also wounding her.

    Birth-chart of Elena Lasconi, created with https://www.astro.com/horoscope?nho2=2&nhor=1

    In her campaign she didn’t make large promises, preferring to focus on improving schools and public spaces, all while promoting her tagline ‘A Romania for the many, and not just for the few’. And we come now to what is the most fascinating part of her chart and what gives me hope that she will win the second round of elections, her natal stellium in Gemini, involving the planets Saturn, Venus and Mars. This stellium is currently energised in a positive way by the transit of Jupiter in Gemini! This means that she is helped in her personal relationships and in her capacity to earn money (Venus) by the God of Good Luck. Not only that but Jupiter is releasing her from specific karmic restrictions that are connected to her capacity to speak and use technology (natal Saturn in Gemini), while also giving her increased courage and vitality to tackle on hard tasks and overcome her opponents in public debates and verbal competitions (Jupiter transiting natal Mars in Gemini, the sign of communication). Despite her traditionalist, pragmatic and unripe Taurus Sun – unripe because it is placed at the first degree, so she is limited in her capacity to be herself in this lifetime, as she has to learn how to become someone for other people – Venus conjunct Saturn and North Node in Aquarius – and her home-loving, nationalist Moon in Cancer, I am very happy to see a lot of Air placements in her chart. This makes her more flexible than her fiery Aries placement and Taurus Sun would reveal. In addition, being a proponent of the Earth element means that she will take issues related to money and the environment very personally and that she will defend them, and I personally would love to see stricter environmental laws and restrictions to deforestation in place.

    Seeing as she may ascend to the presidency of the country during her Uranus transiting her Sun era, and while also having her Chiron in Aries return (!) I believe that Lasconi will be able to use her personal wound related to her authenticity and personhood and recreate herself in terms of the population she will lead; thereby truly becoming the weird and wonderful, hippie Earth-mamma that her North Node in Aquarius is pushing her to be. I think we can help her in achieving this destiny.

    On the other hand, Lasconi’s opponent, Georgescu was born on the 26th of March 1962 in Bucharest. He is a Sun in Aries (so a natural and slightly belligerent leader) with a Moon in Sagittarius (a placement he shares in common with Trump). He describes himself as a patriot but considering that he has a lunar placement in the least domestic and settled sign of the zodiac, Sagittarius, Georgescu is actually more emotionally attached to travelling, to his connections to foreigners, and to the philosophy and religion of a specific culture rather than to its daily habits, rites and the customs of everyday people; in the same vein as a man who promises commitment just to get you to sleep with him, and then he packs up and leaves, I see here a great potential to be ardently courted during the campaign only to be left abandoned once he reaches the presidency (and guess to whom he is ready to ‘give’ some territory?? c’mon have a naughty go) In addition to such passionate and fiery placements which would indeed position him as born public performer, I am not at all impressed by the large amount of Water I see in his chart. Born with a natal Neptune in Scorpio retrograde and a Chiron, Mars and Mercury stellium in Pisces (currently restricted and karmically bound by the transit of Saturn in Pisces), we are dealing here with a really good secret-keeper and a man whose movements can be very misleading, confusing and stealth. Case in point, how he snuck past those awaiting in line to the presidency and won the first round of the elections.

    Birth-chart of Calin Georgescu, created with https://www.astro.com/horoscope?nho2=2&nhor=1

    A Mars in Pisces is a weak placement for a man involved in leadership in politics, as this makes him quite passive, easily dominated and chameleonic. He runs a good chance of charming his voters only to disappear at the slightest threat from other leaders with stronger placements. He does have Jupiter at 0 degrees in Pisces, loosely conjunct his natal Mars, but with Chiron thrown in the mix, this tells the story of a man who willingly pursues competition but in fuzzy way, only to be disappointed by the result and become emotionally distraught. The transit of Saturn is restricting his Jupiterian aplomb, bringing him with his feet on the ground but it may also reward his zeal and idealistic thinking. It needs to be said, like I mentioned in the previous article on making sense of the results of the American elections that a natal Jupiter in Pisces carries the Archetype of the Saviour, who could end up sinking the ship it tries to rescue the crew from. This is a man who may create political drama just so he can swoop in and save the day, as he needs the hero narrative to feel he is doing his job. But the drama he may create knows little boundaries as it is placed in Pisces, so he may indirectly produce some unexpected collateral damage that would take years to remedy, if at all.

    Now Neptune in Scorpio is a generational marker and it would be unfair to judge him just by that, but to my mind I’ve always had a massive ‘ick’ in relation to this placement of Neptune because (and in its lower vibration) it is connected to the mass proliferation of pornography and the increase of networks of paedophilia. Furthermore, a man born with a Pluto in Virgo conjunct Lilith, could very well go on a witch hunt when he comes into contact with educated, well-organised and financially stable women (much like he is doing at the moment with Lasconi, as he only seems to slander her and refuse to answer direct questions related to his policy at present).

    The core point of tension in their charts is given by their nodal axis. They happen to share a reversed nodal position (much like Jake Gyllenhaal and Taylor Swift did at one point, even in the same astrological signs). While Lasconi is a North Node in Aquarius/South Node in Leo, Georgescu is a North Node in Leo/South Node in Aquarius. Personally, I dated a South Node in Aquarius and my experience was that he was incredibly emotionally detached from most things in his life but he was a very good communicator, who managed to charm his colleagues and spin such wonderful tales of his own morality while also undergoing a secret double-life as a degenerate. Obviously, not all people born under this placement share this description in common (see the example of Jake Gyllenhaal or Ryan Gosling) and I obviously have some more healing to do and clear up some resentment in my love life. However, there is an inherent weirdness which the native will struggle to cover up, as his destiny is to grow into his Ego, to become a leader, a star and to inspire others through the power of the role-model. He also has Saturn in Aquarius loosely conjunct the South Node, and this means that he is a man who struggled with a lot of limits in his lifetime, especially poverty and a difficult past marred by restrictions. But this placement also shows that his comfort zone is materialism, stoicism and often it can also show cruelty. Keep in mind that he can be less progressive than Lasconi, especially since pressure can make him revert into this cruel and cold comfort zone of having his Saturn conjunct the South Node in Aquarius. By the way, do you know which other famous leader had this Aquarius energy that really put us on the world map? Nicolae Ceausescu 🙂

    While I love independent people, I’m not sure if we want a person who is unaffiliated to a group to lead us. Because frankly we are a group, and we need a team-player. Electing him would mean that a large amount of power will gradually become concentrated in the hands of one person, as he may start to support laws and regulations that benefit him and him only (low-vibrational, Aries Sun behaviour). Judging by his placements he flexibly adapts to winning circumstances, so after he wins, he may surprisingly reveal to all that he was indeed supporting a specific political party all along (Mars in Pisces).

    The whole purpose of creating political parties is to divide the power of representatives and create space for debates in the balanced practice of democracy, but it seems somebody forgot this important reasoning in the current polarizing climate. I don’t know if it’s important to mention that as long as we live in politically unhinged times, it is important to stay aware of the middle-line, and to quote the late and great Johnny Cash ‘to walk the line’; the sooner we realise this, the quicker we can resist manipulation and being pushed into extremes. Metaphorically speaking, we need a calm plan to exist a building on fire and not a charming man who walks solo and promises he will jump into the fire to save us all. History had its share of charmers who reached political success with their passionate speeches, to disastrous effects. So, by choosing him we won’t be sliding smoothly into the future, a future free of the elite group of PSD-PNL boys, but rather we would be sliding back into 1939 Europe.

    Your choices are powerful and they do have consequences. Make your vote count and make sure that it is yours. I have to admit that I was also confused about which candidate to choose, but seeing the astrology it is now clearer to me whom I should vote for. No matter whom you decided to support in the end, the important thing is to show up on the 8th of December now more than ever. On that day, the Moon will be growing (waxing) in the sign of Pisces; it’s the first quarter so a relatively balanced energy, and since Saturn & Neptune will be aspecting the Moon (our collective unconscious), this means that whomever we will choose on the day will be the leader of a number of incoming, karmic lessons for the next cycles. Let’s choose consciously and spiritually.

    With universal light,

    Lexi

  • Women of Substance

    “Beauty will destroy your mind
    Spare the gory details”

    Radiohead, The Butcher

    Two movies I saw recently and stayed with me in a haunting way, were ‘The Substance’ & ‘Woman of the Hour‘. I really enjoyed both movies but they also shook me. They both deal with primordial fears: the fear of aging and dying, and the fear of being hunted and killed. And the discovery of these two movies is happening for me during a period in which I’m experiencing the transit of loosely conjunct my Piscean Sun, bringing up a lot of fears, anxieties and difficult feelings to cope with. In some way, by watching such movies I am daring myself to face a couple of fears as well as enjoying some good cinematic work. As I was blown away by the performances, I started doing some astrological sleuthing in order to understand what made these actresses gravitate towards such roles and topics. As always, I am perplexed to find an abundance of astrological details that all three actresses share in common, each with their own nuanced expression. There was a certain vulnerability combined with utmost intensity and emotional strength that really made the performances by Demi Moore, Margaret Qualley and Anna Kendrick stand out to me.

    Because it’s the end of Scorpio season as I’m writing this article – and fittingly the two main actresses who star in the Substance just ‘happen’ to be two Scorpio Suns themselves – I thought I would explore a little bit their birth-charts in the context of spirituality, aging and self-loathing. I’m bringing Anna Kendrick’s directorial debut into the mix as her soul pattern also falls under the sign of the Scorpion, but in a less obvious way than Demi’s or Margaret’s. Scorpio energy is notorious for embodying the vortex of human complexes and darkness, dealing with taboo, hidden or shocking themes such as: addiction, sex, death, taxes, karma, healing. Ultimately, Scorpionic energy marks the path in the development of the human soul as it grows through the zodiac, where the soul needs to change and find its power. And both of these movies and the actresses who star in them have soul themes replete with the themes of power and rebirth, each in their own unique and specific ways.

    Let’s look at Anna first, as she is not the typical Scorpio. In fact, she was born with a Sun in Leo conjunct Mars and Mercury retrograde. We do not know her Ascendant, and therefore we don’t know in which area of her life her Leonic Sun manifests the most, but she does borrow traits from Gemini and Aries energy due to her Mercury and Mars conjunctions to the Sun. This energy already makes her a natural performer with tons of energy, but it also makes her rather restless, fearless and incapable of hiding her true authenticity. See this interesting clip of Anna’s selection of interviews in which the creator discusses how Anna isn’t pretending while she is performing. Making a PR image based on awkward vulnerability, wicked humor and being a diamond in the rough, can be attributed to that Mars conjunct Sun energy in combination with a South Node in Scorpio. To add to this energy, Anna’s Moon is in the sign of its exaltation, which means that she was blessed with a stable and comfort-seeking Moon in Taurus, offering her a Venusian, loving vibe. However, her Moon is disturbed by two subtle influences: the North Node (which represents a point of uncomfortable growth) and the asteroid Lilith (or the wild feminine archetype, the OG biblical rebel of the zodiac). The next layer of intensity and darkness added to her inner planets comes from the unholy trinity of her having a South Node, Saturn and Pluto in Scorpio! And that’s where I took my cue in order to attribute her a Scorpionic Soul – Anna’s comfort zone in this lifetime is actually deeply uncomfortable, as both Saturn (the master of limits) and Pluto (the master of deep and scary change) are types of energies she feels ‘cozy’ and ‘familiar’ with.

    When things get tough in life, Anna falls back on an even tougher comfort zone. For her, being pretty, patient, wealthy and valued are qualities which represent her growth zone. All the qualities which filter through the astrological sign of Taurus show what her soul expects to grow into in this incarnation. Fittingly it was her conventional, accountant role in ‘Up in the air’ in which she played alongside George Clooney (a Taurus Sun) that brought her closer to professional recognition than ever before, even if she didn’t have the money to get dressed for the Oscars! This is why the quirky girl-next-door or supporting actress persona did not really make her stand out as much as playing darker, serious or moral roles seems to work better for her.

    Image of actress Anna Kendrick and of her birth-chart, taken from: https://www.astro-seek.com/birth-chart/anna-kendrick-horoscope

    Having a South Node in Scorpio also means her formative years, her birth and childhood were marked by hardships, drama and familial tensions caused by intense feelings that were kept secret. We can also see that with her Jupiter in Aquarius retrograde, there may have been a proliference of traumatic events in her lifetime, and shocks and surprises that had the paradoxical effect of liberating her from received knowledge such as learned helplessness or ingrained family patterns. Anna is a really tough individual and as cute and fairy-like she may seem, she is no one you want to casually fuck with, unless you want to be obliterated. I also believe that her chart markers make her a more suitable director and producer than actress, so I would love to see more movies from her as she has the potential to become one of the great filmmakers of her generation as long as she uses her talents ‘behind the scenes’ rather than performing in front of the camera. Without a doubt, she is not someone you can easily relate to, persuade or lead on. And this aspect is evident in her Taurean placements which show that her soul is growing into a more stable, highly conservative, materially abundant but also stubborn energetic imprint. We also don’t have an Ascendant for Anna, but judging by what her chart reveals so far, I would place her Ascendant in Leo, and thereby brining her Sun conjunct Mercury and Mars stellium intp the most visible part of her chart (either that of an Aries Ascendant and placing her Sun in the 5th house, the house of performance).

    Now, if we have a look at Margaret Qualley’s birth-chart we see a proliferation of planets in the sign of Scorpio! This configuration in a person’s chart is called a stellium and it often is a marker of a highly imbalanced and odd lifetime. This is because when the stellium is aspected in a harmonious way by outer transits then not much may be happening in a person’s life and life can be just enjoyed; but when squares and oppositions begin to put tension in order to revitalize the stellium then everything could come crashing down all at once in a person’s life. We are unfortunately unaware of Margaret’s birth time and therefore we are missing an Ascendant but judging by her obvious beauty, nepo baby karma (she is the daughter of actress Andie Macdowell) and choice of roles, Margaret may very well have this Scorpionic stellium parked in either her 2nd house (the area of self-worth) or the 8th house (the natural realm of Scorpio, the house ruled by Pluto) in which case this would place her Ascendant in either brave Aries or beautiful Libra.

    Personally, I’m leaning more towards Aries, since her hair is naturally curly, she has that bold and confrontational look and she seems quite impulsive and instinctual in her acting (sometimes veering on intentionally cartoonish). Margaret also has a Mars in Leo squared by Jupiter (a sign of excess and exaggeration brought on her life by men and the actions she takes on their behalf) and also squaring Venus (a sign of romantic problems and domestic violence). We also can see that with her Saturn retrograde in Pisces, Margaret is currently undergoing her Saturn return, a time of maturation in a young individual’s life that can come with added responsibilities and considerable rewards for past career-related choices. Margaret got married when Saturn began moving through Pisces, back in 2023 to a man called Jack Antonoff (whom I personally do not like at all – since he was together with Lena Dunham, he always gave me creepy vibes). He is an Aries Sun so I doubt he will gel well with all the water that Margaret has in her chart, and I’m having a faint suspicion that she may have married him in an impulsive decision to somehow prove herself to other people or because a relationship with someone she really loved had failed. This is typical of a Saturn in Pisces spiritual path, as someone needs to be sacrificed or surrendered in a deeply painful way for the Saturnian individual to fulfill their karma. Nonetheless, her career took off big-time as she appeared in 4 movies this year (!) and she seems to be quickly becoming art-house director’s Yorgos Lanthimos on-screen darling, appearing in two of his recent movies.

    Image of actress Margaret Qualley and of her birth-chart, taken from: https://www.astrotheme.com/astrology/Margaret_Qualley

    Coming back to her chart, it needs to be said that Margaret has a Moon in Gemini conjunct Lilith (an aspect she shares in common with Anna), and while I like to see some Air inside such a Water-burdened chart, her Moon does provoke some uncomfortable aspects to her Scorpio stellium. It is note-worthy to mention that Margaret is actually learning how to become a Scorpio in this lifetime by embodying and owning up to her inner darkness (her intense emotions) and shedding light on the darkness of those around her (we see this in her choices of roles but also I’m pretty sure there may be something lewd and scandalous that appears in the next few years about Jack Antonoff which will test their marriage and her loyalty to him).

    She will continue to be drawn to and star in roles that portray a kind of twisted sexuality (like she did in Sanctuary or Kinds of Kindness), deep transformation (like in the Substance) or roles dealing with what is hidden, taboo and occult (like in Novitiate). I personally, cannot wait to see her act in paranormal roles which will fit her like a glove! One final thing I need to add, which shows how perfect an individual’s astral energies fit in relation to the nation, family and specific time when their souls decide to incarnate, is the fact that with a North Node in Scorpio conjunct a stellium, Margaret has past life-time karma with Taurean people, as her South Node is placed in Taurus. This is a link that shows just how connected she is at a soul level to her mother, actress Andie Macdowell who was born with a Sun in Taurus! (just as a sidenote: I love Andi’s work so much, especially since she stars in one of my favourite comfort movies ‘Groundhog Day‘)

    So mother and daughter know each other from a past lifetime but Margaret reincarnated as her mother’s heavy Shadow (with that stellium in Scorpio sitting in opposition to her mother’s Sun sign) in order to change what was stagnant about her family’s (and her mother’s) solid and traditional, moral values. With both Pluto and Jupiter surrounding her Venus, Margaret is meant to create generational wealth by creating bonds with powerful individuals but she may also suffer at the hands of these powerful people, if she is not careful and discerning regarding the performers and superstars whom she interacts with (Mars in Leo).

    Image of actress Demi Moore and of her birth-chart, taken from: https://www.astro-seek.com/birth-chart/demi-moore-horoscope

    Lastly, I want to talk about Demi Moore, and her amazing comeback to the silver screen! Literally, like a Phoenix rising from the ashes, Demi pulled a 360 degrees rebirth on the public, leaving us speechless with her performance in The Substance. I think this choice of role was also a little bith tongue-in-cheek and cathartic to her, since in the last decade she was pretty much a Hermit and may have had been healing from a number of alleged plastic surgeries (some of which were unfortunately botched). As I grew up in the 90s I would see her movies all the time since my parents loved ‘The Ghost‘ and ‘St Elmo’s Fire‘. She always felt familiar to me and I am in some way emotionally attached to her image and her work. When I was older, I also really liked ‘The Scarlett Letter‘ and ‘G.I. Jane‘ as some of her more controversial roles, and I thought that she was such a beautifully vulnerable, brave and self-assured woman. We can see from her chart just exactly where this bravery comes from: a stellium of planets in intense Scorpio, including her Sun, Venus, Neptune and Mercury, in combination with an exalted Moon in Taurus (sitting in opposition to her Sun, which tells me that she was born on a Full Moon, at peak lunar energy), and a Mars in Leo conjunct the North Node! I guess you can already see the many similarities between all of the three actresses’ charts: the Taurus, Leo and Scorpio vibes that all of them embody and live out in their profession. It’s also fascinating as a sidenote to reflect on divine astrological timing, as we can see that Margaret met and worked with Demi during her Saturn return, while simulateneously Demi is also having Saturn transiting through her first house – Saturn in Pisces, in the sign of film, escapism and the imagination brought them both together during an intensely karmic time of new beginnings for both of them.

    But there is another detail thrown in the mix, something which makes Demi really stand out by comparison to Anna and Margaret and I would attribute this to her Aquarius south Node conjunct Saturn and placed in the house ruled by Aquarius, the 11th house. It’s kind of ridiculous how similar Demi’s energy is both to Margaret’s but also Andie’s own energy! Demi and Andie are members of the same generation (most commonly known as Gen X), while Margaret and Anna are fellow Millennials. Nonetheless, I think that it is Demi’s weird and wonderful comfort zone in mind-opening Aquarius which helps her achieve a cinematic rebirth at 60 and start alongside someone with a generational gap and somehow outshine her. Because, I personally feel that Demi is not only the star but the heart of ‘The Substance’. Her on-screen suffering transforms a story that is in parts comical and neon-colored into something much sinister and darker, a parable for the taboo of aging in an era which seems to glorify exterior good looks over and above anything of ‘deep substance’ in a person’s character. Taking the Subtance and transforming the body is then paradoxically a fight to save whatever is left in your own interior and the movie shows in a cartoonish way by playing with a lot props and body horror themes, how society is slowly killing the idea of inner beauty (or how the idea of inner beauty is currently being butchered and transformed into something violent and sinister).

    That beauty can be something that is used against women and may lead to their destruction is also a theme prevalent in ‘Woman of the Hour’ in which Anna Kendrick’s game show character tiptoes around dating a serial killer, a topic which is even more shocking since it was inspired by real life crimes. The worst thing about the movie is that it shows how difficult it is to believe in love and trust someone you may just have met since not even dressing down, adopting a modest look or not wearing make-up can save you from being violently assaulted by a man who hates women because he so desperately hates himself. The visceral violence of the women’s last hours was what made this movie all the more intense and the escape of Anna’s character even more shocking.

    Outside the margins of comofort, I feel that you can always rely on people with Scorpio-heavy charts to shake you up from a belief that safety is real or attainable, when in reality what is truly authentic is to survive another day and live to tell the tale. And living on also allows one to embrace the process of aging and the way in which it separates one from physical beauty by granting an individual the chance to show their inner authenticity. In the current time of speed-run superficiality, in which people can’t control much except their own bodies, I guess we fear aging because once the physical facade cracks, we have nothing left to show the world. The moral of Scorpio energy is then: work on your soul, because nothing else can save you from the force of emotions as powerful as fear, emotions which may kill what is left beautiful inside of you.

    With universal love,

    Lexi

  • Making sense

    Painted American Flag is a painting by Duukster fromhttps://pixels.com/featured/painted-american-flag-duukster.html

    In light of recent political events, I feel it’s necessary to focus upon the astrological transits which are influencing them. Mostly because we are gearing up for a number of great outer-planetary transits in 2025 which will change the social landscape for years to come. The transits I will focus on in this article are those of the planets Neptune and Saturn as they are joined by the North Node/South Nodes of the Moon in the signs of Aries and Pisces; but I will also reflect on the previous transits of Jupiter throughout Aries and Pisces between the years of 2022 and 2023, since past Jupiterian aplomb laid the groundwork for the current Saturnian injection of fear into the collective.

    These transits began roughly in the year 2022 and will continue up until 2027, and the two astrological signs from which they draw energy are those which represent the Alpha and the Omega of the zodiac. This is no coincidence but a fated mark representing the building of a different social landscape than the one we have witnessed in the last century. It is evident that we are living in times in which many of our social institutions, core values, ways of relating and defining ourselves are not functioning anymore. You could say that they are ‘plastically transforming’, if this transformation wasn’t so painful for ordinary people just trying to get by.

    Aries and Pisces are the first and the last sign of the zodiac, and in the last years they have been unleashing their energies in our collective unconscious, marking the end of an era and the brisk creation of the next: the first sign of impulsive and creative primal energy (Aries) and the final twelfth sign representing the wise, compassionate elder of the zodiac (Pisces).

    On a darker note, Aries (ruled by Mars) is also the sign of war, aggression and anihilation due to Ego strengthening, while Pisces (ruled by Neptune) is about delusion, addictions and pendulating between extreme self-abandonement and extremely uplifting spiritual states. Outer planetary transits impact the collective more than any other transits, especially when they are supported by conjunctions to the karmic lunar nodes: two imaginary points on the Moon’s eliptic movement around the Earth, which represent past life karmic energy and show us where we loose collective energy (the South Node) and what we are obsessively drawn towards, where we feel like the energy is never enough and we crave more of it (the North Node). To aid in my analysis I’m hitting the books and getting some support from Jan Spiller, Liz Greene and Stephen Arroyo, three well-known astrologers who have written extensively on the deeper meaning of Neptune, Saturn, Jupiter and the nodes of the Moon.

    The first outer planet to move through these two signs was the Great Benefic, the planet Jupiter. With its natural expansiveness and enthusiasm, Jupiter led the masses into increased radicalisation and heightened religious and nationalist fervour as Jupiter moved through Pisces between 2021 and 2022, and then Jupiter put the legacy of Pisces into action by intensifying global conflicts as it briskly moved through Aries, the sign of War between the 2022 and 2023. I want to allow an experienced astrologer like Stephen Arroyo to describe the energy of Jupiter as it moved from the first through the last sign of the zodiac, so he can help us put things into a larger perspective (which also happens to be the main hustle of Great Jove) :

    Jupiter in Pisces “Keeping one’s feet on the ground may be the hardest challenge for those with this position. They can float away into dreams of personal glory (…) they can be lost in self-agrandissement posing as big-heartedness; or they can indulge themselves in exaggerated, mythologised versions of their lives. In some cases of more ordinary mortals, they can ‘go to pieces’ if their lyfestyle, marriage or job to which they have been devoted, disintegrates resulting in disorientation, escapism and difficulty coping with reality. Self-esteem and confidence for most of these people, however, slowly develops over time as they align themselves with a spiritual, social, or artistic ideal (…) These folks are usually, future-oriented people and almost invariably they have some kind of special imagination, intuitive understanding of life, or breadth of vision that can inspire themselves and others, and which they need to act upon throughout their lives if they are going to feel prosperous and succesful. As Moore and Douglas explain, “success” for those with Jupiter in Pisces has little to do with money and material goods.”

    Jupiter in Aries “This is perhaps the most fearless risk-taker of all Jupiter positions. Inf act, these people usually love risk and challenge; they crave the experience of the new and the unknown, and life quickly becomes boring without such stimulation. In fact, they sometimes live in such a way that more cautious types wonder if they are bent on self-destruction! They are naturally rash and impulsive liking to act quickly and think about it later, if at all. They are frank and honest, but others must be equipped to deal with their directness and bluntness without over-reacting to them emotionally. They don’t usually mean any harm; they are merely thoughtless at times. However, there can be a mean streak with Aries, especially if other planets are there also. And almost invariably, there is substantial competitiveness, which serves them well in their natural entrepreneurial activities. Those with Jupiter in Aries thrive on constant growth towars the new, and they may best express their potential in very independent work situations, such as being self-employed. They do not like to take orders, and in fact they are the epitome of people who can be called ‘head-strong’ (…) Yet, their intuition into the future is often strikingly apt. They invariably know their future direction, although they may impuslively change it with surprising suddeness. So many new ideas and projects occur to them that many are never pursued long; finishing things may be a problem (…) For those with Jupiter in Aries, progress and prosperity depend more on directing and channeling their innate confidence and vision than on developping those capacities. These abilities are already there, but cultivating more faith in that inner initiative and intuitive sense of what ‘I can do’ may be the next step for some individuals.”

    Jupiter’s transit in Aries also debuted the transit of Saturn into Pisces, when it concomitantly worked with it in an uncomfortable semi-sextile in March of 2023. As Saturn began to move through Pisces, it also began to slowly approach the planet Neptune, now almost at the end of it’s years long transit through the sign of its domicile. Mayans adequately predicted the end of an era back in 2012, a year which eerily coincided with Neptune beginning its transit through Pisces. So Saturn is left now to uncomfortably clean up and provide structure to the Neptunian ‘spiritual spills’ in which we have been bathing for more than a decade now. The astrological expert on everything Saturn and Neptune-related is without doubt, Liz Greene, whose profound reflections on both Saturn and Neptune in these two zodiac signs, can help us understand what exactly we have been immersed in:

    Saturn in Pisces “Saturn in the twelfth house, and to a lesser extent in Pisces is difficult from the point of view of the personality because the Saturnian energies, geared initially toward self-protection and defense against the environment, are rendered ineffectual. This may in extreme situations be through hospitalization or imprisonment for a period of time, and the man may learn through his own helplessness how ultimately impotent the personal will is against the forces of his own past which he himself has set in motion. The feeling that one is helpless and must submit to something larger and greater is frequent with this placement of Saturn, although it may occur on a very subjective level. This is a cadent house and refers to states of mind, and Saturn here often generates a vague fear that someone or something, a misty or generalised fate or destiny, is going to destroy him or control him. He may isolate himself and attempt to shield himself from contact with others at the same time that he is weighed down by an oppresive loneliness and sense of powerlessness (…) It is also often the reflection of a fear of confronting external life and a sense of impotence in being able to handle practical affairs (…) Typical Saturnian ambivalence occurs with a twelfth house Saturn too, and there are both a compulsive fascination with and a great fear of losing one’s identity and individuality (…) It is man’s defense mechanism which is necessary for a long time while the unfolding consciousness needs defending; however, when Saturn is found in Pisces or in the twelfth house, the time has come for the scaffolding to be taken down for the inner structure is nearly complete, and stripping this away is initially like stripping off one’s outer skin and exposing the raw and tender area beneath (…) Saturn in water is responsible for a great deal of loneliness and isolation so apparent at the present time. It is of some help for the individual who has Saturn in a watery house or sign to recognise that his potential in terms of inner peace, understanding, and wisdom is as great as his potential for despair if he will only turn inward to the realm of feelings and of the unconscious.”

    Now, starting from 2025, Saturn will temporarily dip into Aries for a couple of months next Spring, form a great conjuction to Neptune (just enough to give us ample material to work with) and then dip back into Pisces next Autumn, for a conclusive final act. It needs to be said, that Saturn doesn’t enjoy being in any of these two signs, since Water and Fire energies are the most resistant to any discipline, structure or grounding that this Earth Papa wants to impose on them; so these transits are uncomfortable and wounding to our personalities and only with great effort can we distill the gold inherent in Saturn’s karmic lessons. But let’s allow Liz to explain it further:

    Saturn in Aries “One of the main qualities which appear to accompany Saturn in Aries or in the first house is a lack of self-assertion of a positive kind. There is often a need to enforce one’s will and to control the immediate environment; but rather than being the spontaneous and self-confident assertion of the individual, this is more of a defensive maneuvre which sometimes attempts to attack first because it is fearful of attack. Sometimes the need for control is expressed in a subtle and indirect way so that situations are manipulated without any real evidence of aggressiveness. This is the characteristic coupling of need and fear which is so often found with Saturn. The natural shyness and stiff awkwardness of Saturn is expressed more obviously with this placement than with any other although the individual often learns during life to cultivate a smooth, cool and polished surface (…) Saturn is considered to be in his fall in Aries, and from this one might deduce that this is a difficult position for him and one which is not easily carried. Possibly the most difficult side of it is the tendency to be cut off from both the flow of outer life and the flow of inner life so that the individual is stranded in a very small and very arid area of his psyche, difficult to reach, and unable to touch the mainspring of purpose and meaning which would enable him to face the outer world with courage (…) This is because a planet in its fall must generally struggle, and it is this struggle which, if carefully tended, yields insight and eventual expansion of the field of consciousness. This is particularly true of Saturn, who when placed in the sign of his fall is often stripped of the courage and confidence – the natural gifts of Aries – which are required to tackle the problems of living head-on. Yet the thing he wants the most is the joy of being free, of being first, of exploring unknwon regions and meeting unknown challenges and revelling in the innate realization that his existence is guarantee enough of his purpose. Saturn in Aries or in the first house tends first to emphasize the fear of powerlessness because it suggests a clinging to the more superficial features of the personality and a consequent loss of contanct with the rich inner person. Eventually this fear can prod the individual into a deeper exploration of what he considers to be his identity.”

    And here is Liz’s primer on Neptune’s energy as it will make an epochal shift next year (if you thought delusions related to wars and conflicts were abundant in the collective, well next yer we may never see the end of them; at the same time issues related to personal identity and who we are as human beings will become the center of our collective concerns as AI and robots will become common-place in society):

    Neptune in Pisces “In the 12th house, Neptune comes home (…) Neptune in the 12th house is a transmitter of the richness, darkness and light of that which came before us. The 12th is the house of pre-birth and therefore also describes the period of the mother’s pregnancy, when we were contained within the uterine waters. As a medium for the archetypal themes of the ancestral collective, Neptune in the 12th is particularly attuned to feelings and images of suffering and redemption (…) It is not surprising that this house is called the house of self-undoing; if we are unconscious of this vast ancestral longing to go home, we may ensure that we are dragged home in spite of ourselves (…) Commitment to a religious or spiritual path may offer consolation to Neptune’s melancholy and world-weariness, and may provide a means of redeeming not only one’s own loneliness but the victims of the past. Neptune in the 12th may shoulder the burden of redeeming family sin and unhapiness, and is particularly prone to identification with the suffering saviour (…) One may become addicted to the creative powers of the psyche, retreating from relationships with the outer world in order to partake of the universal waters of the source. The individual may see himself or herself as a Christ-like figure, come to save the suffering world (…) The line between Neptune in the 12th as visionary, artist and healer, and Neptune in the 12th as addict, invalid or psychotic, is very fluid (…) Neptune’s eternal enemy is also Neptune’s eternal friend, and a little Saturnian realism can go a long way in assisting a 12th house Neptune floundering in deep waters – although too much Saturn may provoke the very flood the individual is seeking to avoid.”

    Neptune in Aries “Neptune in the first house poses an immediate dilemma, for the nature of Neptune is antithetical to the nature of Mars. Where Mars seeks to assert its power over life, Neptune seeks to avoid birth. Where we experience Neptune, we feel helpless abd impotent, for we are in the hands of powers greater than ourselves (…) Neptune in the 1st may secretly feel emasculated and deeply anxious when confronted with choices and challenges that require a definite decision or act of will – particularly if there is any risk of separation or loneliness. Sometimes one adopts instead a strange fatalism, as though life is unreal anyway and therefore not worth struggling with. Eschewing of personal responsibility may undermine efforts to establish a coherent life direction. Both good and ill are “meant to be” (…) Neptune in the 1st often reflects gifts of tact and subtle diplomacy, one navigates rather than shapes the outer world. The needs of others take on the shape of the redeemer; to merge with others in an ecstasy of mutual pleasing is a form of redemption (…) Neptune in the 1st has a reputation in astrological texts for blindness and self-deception (…) Every personal interaction with another individual thus becomes a potential experience of salvation; and clarity, judgement and initiative dissolve as a result. But this destructive extreme of self-effacement can only occur if there is no sense of self to balance Neptune’s longing. If one has one’s own feeligns and values, the need for others will not swallow up the outlines of the identity (…) The challenge of a 1st house Neptune lies not in any intrinsically malevolent property in the planet, but in the task of balancing its chameleon-like inclinations with a healthy dose of self-value and self-preservation. Neptune in the 1st can also be the special gift of the counsellor or healer, because of its unique capacity to enter into the feelings of others. But the individual may become addicted to those who are needy (…) The inner solidity of the personality decides in the end whether the gifts of a 1st house Neptune will lead to the waters of oblivion or the waters of life”.

    At the moment at which I am writing these reflections, Pluto is a mere 24 hours away from definitively switching from Capricorn into Aquarius; this transit will last until 2044 and it will reconfigure our social landscape. To add to this transformation wave, we are collectively feeling the energies of the North Node in Aries (red and male) and the South Node in Libra (blue and female). It’s kind of on the nose how the colours and gender associated with Mars/Aries and Venus/Libra fit so strongly with the two political party which competed against each other during the American elections at the begining of this month; similarly, the upcoming Romanian elections may also lead to a negative surprise, as the old-guard political party PSD, whose logo is covered in red may become the populist darling, thereby sealing the deal on the gradual “Russification” of Romania during Saturn in Aries’ reign (although, I pray that votes will be disparate and PSD won’t get the majority and my fears will resist to manifest; I also pray that Saturn will freeze & limit conflicts at global level).

    Because the North Node represents a point of collective obsession, and its transit usually describes what we become attached to and constantly crave more of, we would understand why Trump’s campaign which it’s fleet red caravans covering the US and it’s sexist but direct rethoric, had more success than Harris’ – people unconsciously wanted Mars-like energy, so that their personal anger would be reflected on stage, in a form of political anger that was mistakenly associated with true power. Here is how astrologer Jan Spiller describes the core traits of the Libra SN/Aries NN axis under whose spell we have been since July of 2023:

    Aries North Node people have spent so many incarnations supporting the identity of others that in this incarnation they have no sense of who they are. On an energetic level, they are missing the insulation of a sense of identity. When a baby is born, there’s a band in its aura called “identity”, and people in other nodal groups have this. It acts as a shield against the strong energy field of others. Because of it, people can interact intensely without damaging one another (…) In this incarnation, Aries North Node people face the challenge of stregthening their sense of identity. Because they have no preconceived idea of “self”, they are open to discovering what is real and natural within themselves. It’s an innocent process. Their natural impulses validate their identity, and their identity is strengthened through their actions (…) They don’t have enough personal identity left in their “battery” to hold the “charge” for the other person. To be deeply happy in this lifetime, they must focus on developing their own identity and recharging their own battery (…) When they encourage independence and individuality in their relationships – dealing directly with the other person and supporting him or her in being strong and separate – they win, because the other person will give back in the same way, supporting Aries North Node’s independence and individuality (…) For these folks, bein drained and being overly excited are two sides of the same coin: not dealing with what’s actually happening in the moment (…) The balance lies in being consciously aware of others’ energy without being consumed by it. Aries North Nodes need to stay connected to their own power and be in touch with what they can comfortably contribute. The idea is to share their talents freely, to be of service, and to give from the heart without trying to be more – or less – than they actually are.”

    Notice the proliferance of images of ‘birth’ and ‘identity’ in the quotes I shared above. Despite the fact that most of these descriptions are referring to individual circumstances in a person’s chart, they can be extrapolated to explain the current energies we find ourselves navigating through; and the struggle to form identities in the debris of a dying world speaks volumes to what is happening to us, as human beings, on a collective level. As the nodes of the Moon will switch signs on the 11th of January 2025, and as we will move from Aries and into the North Node in Pisces, the collective obsession will turn to spirituality, dissolving, addictions and losing our personal identities in order to recover a feeling of unification; we will long for some sort of connection, with what has previously been separated in the past years, but we may also attach to that which is toxic to us and build up a Stockholm syndrome around it, also because we will long for wholeness, peace and unconditional love and forgiveness. Again, I invite Spiller to describe in her own words how the Virgo SN/Pisces NN axis will manifest in the coming 18 months:

    “The Achilles’ heel Pisces North Node people need to be aware of is their compulsive need for order (“My survival depends of everything being in order according to my view of how life ought to be and how others ought to behave”), and it can lead them into the trap of an unending search for perfection (“If only the people around me were more perfect, I could relax and trust”). But it’s a bottomless pit: Since life and other people are never in a static state of perfect order long enough for Pisces North Nodes to feel secure, their expectations can lead to continual tension and anxiety. Because life – and others – are never ideal enough for them to let go of control, they continually postpone trust and joy. The bottom line involves acepting the universe’s plan is better than their and that things are unfolding properly, regardless of how it seems. The only place they can create “perfect order” is within themselves, by surrendering to a Higher Power and trusting that everything is indeed in order. The irony is that when Pisces North Node people blindly trust the infinite and accept that everything contributes to their greater happiness, they suddenly become aware of the larger picture and begin to sense how things are working to their advantage. Then they can let go of control and be happy (…) They are filled with calm and feel in alignement with ‘the plan’ because the spiritual vision is the energy of perfection they are seeking.”

    In a period in which we may have to bite the hand that feeds so that a new system of feeding that helps all get nourishment can come into place, we may also decide to caress and allow the hand that feeds to even strike us. With both Saturn and Neptune in Aries, we may not be able to see clearly ‘the enemy’ and considering that Chiron, the Wounded Healer is still moving through Aries for the entirety of 2025, we may decide to turn our violence against the enemy within. The hardship of our coming years will stem from the fact that we may be up against forces which we will have no control over, as the changes that will follow are in a large way, fated. Each one of us will feel called to play their part, at the right moment and in order to do so we will have to rely on nothing else but the strength of our faith and the force of our convictions. Living in a world whose material foundations are shacking can be taxing on the nerves so time alone to decompress will become imperative. But at the same time, we may also allow the energy of the unknown to surprise us with what we discover, to create ripples of fun and imaginative exploration, and in this way, the dark path ahead can become illuminated by our everyday, common sense courage.

    We may need to ask ourselves ‘why are we so obsessed with safety?‘ If Pluto in Capricorn broke our souls and spirits and transformed us into pragmatic capitalists so that we could survive, we may need to revise why we do the things we do each day, in order to reclaim control over our minds and souls. At this point in time, we all crave more money but then when we manifest it we just buy shit we don’t need, thereby contributing to the environmental collapse that is defining the current limits of our lived reality. Maybe time spent dreaming, resting, saving up, trusting, fluidly going through life may help both our mental health, and the environment and allows us all to see just how deeply the two are connected.

    Looking at these transits, I have already decided that 2025 will be my year of testing the limits of my solitude. I want to own being a Hermit, to dive into the study of occult scriptures and commit to a disciplined form of mediation and stillness that may help me achieve a state of inner oceanic vastness. And whatever I will find that is meaningful I will share with you all. Who knows? Perhaps once I have made this difficult but empowering decision, life will surprise me in a powerful way by showing me just how connected I am to everything and everyone in the pit of this self-imposed, militant solitude. I look forward to the discovery.

    With universal light, always

    Lexi

  • The Warmth

    Olafur Eliasson: The Weather Project. Image taken from The Guardian https://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/2018/oct/02/how-we-made-olafur-eliasson-the-weather-project

    I don’t know how else to deal with big things, except by writing about them.

    I’m sitting on a chair and talking. And as I talk something shifts in my mind. I understand. There is a logical thread now linking two disparate memories. All of a sudden a flood of warm sensations washes over my body and it feels like my frontal lobe & then my whole brain softens. I just had a breakthrough in my therapist’s office. And my body reacted to it by making me feel warm. It is this warmth I seek now, as guidance that healing is taking place & parts of me, like tectonic plates, instead of being pulled apart by hot, gushing lava, are sutured back together. A female Frankenstein, but on the inside. By making sense of the difficult experiences in my life, I release a pleasing warmth in my body, an emotional nectar that heals wounds which have been buried so deep inside of me, they seem almost invisible. However what is invisible can also be stealthily powerful in affecting our lives in mysterious ways, leading us towards self-undoing and self-harm. The warmth is then a sign that the light of my inner Sun sign is still alive, and that I am real and still alive.

    For the past two months, I have been on anti-depressant and anti-anxiety medication while also undergoing therapy. I started going to art classes while also exercising my body to improve my mental mindset. Slowly things were getting better and lighter until tragedy struck in a swift moment. There is a line in Arcade Fire’s song ‘In the backseat’ that is so heartbreakingly beautiful in the way in which it describes family-related loss and grief: My family tree’s / Losing all it’s leaves. This line stayed with me since high-school when I first heard it, but it’s only in March of this year that I got to feel the full impact of these words. March is my birth month. A month in which nature comes back to life in the Northern hemisphere, where I live. A month in which we celebrate Ostara or the Spring Equinox and the beginning of a new astrological year, as the Sun shines through the 0 degrees in the constellation of Aries (the first sign of the zodiac).

    In March of 2017 I lost my grandma. I also turned 30 and passed my PhD. I was having my Saturn return. And now as Saturn is approaching a conjunction to my natal Sun in Pisces, and I turned 37 years old my father is receiving treatment for cancer and I am no longer able to talk to my parents. I don’t yet know his clear diagnostic but the word ‘metastasis’ has been passed around from doctor to doctor since he fell in the bathtub in February of this year and wasn’t able to get back up. My dad can’t move anymore and there is something sick inside of him that is spreading from organ to organ, binding his insides into a map of darkness. It’s as if one by one parts of him are deciding to shut down and welcome the night. He is tired, and every cell in his body is expressing this at the moment.

    Dad didn’t have an easy life, but neither did he make the best of it. He complied and existed. He showed up and was stoically present while also abusing his body to the extremes. This body is now giving in and we are left to witness the cellular spectacle. If anything, dad is now showing me how much I need to love my own body, and to respect it. As my karmic teacher and through this disease, dad is showing me through the power of a negative example how not to live. He is teaching me indirectly that I should combine work with rest (he almost never took time off, except at weekends), that I should eat well (his diet was atrocious), that I should stay away from toxins (he smoked and drank most of his life) and most importantly, that I should move and stretch and feel my body (he is the most passive man I know). My body and my emotions matter, and as I am strongly feeling these statements I witness how my father’s body and emotions are ending him.

    I wrote about my dad in my book ‘Fatherhood and Love: The Social Construction of Masculine Emotions’, as our difficult relationship is what inspired my interest in how fathers express their love for their children. My dad is not an expressive man. Born with a Sun in Libra, Moon in Capricorn and Leo Ascendant, he is the kind of man who would rather tell dirty jokes as he is being wheeled into a hospital bed by nursing staff than tell his daughters that he loves them. He is actually suspicious of me and the affection I show him. He endures, dissociates and remains silent through it all. He is implacable like a wall when all I am trying to do is to relate to him, to talk to him. I can understand that a part of him has never been fully expressed or developped as he grew up surrounded by women, missing a father and the warmth of brotherhood from other men in his life. So he became a wall, a stranger on ‘foreign feminine’ territory.

    This wall is something I came across many times in all of my relationships with the men I loved and from whom to this day, I have not received any clear confirmation that they may have loved me at some point. The main issue that I wanted to explore in my PhD research and in the book that emerged out of it was: Is storge love something we only feel or also something that we primarily do? I was born into a part of the world in which it was customary to show love rather than put it into words, and in Romania the way people show love or do love is mainly by using food, gifts and money to make you feel cared for. Paradoxically, this same philosophy could be found in the South Node/North Node placements of my parents, with both of them being born in the 1960s and having a South Node in Sagittarius (action) which represents their comfort zones versus their North Node in Gemini (communication) which represents their uncomfortable growth zones.

    Needless to say, I grew up in a household in which screaming matches were a thing rather than calm, considerate communication – there were moments of peace and understanding, but they were not the norm. So I learned to repress my anger in an effort to detach from these fearful mom and dad behaviours which I was witnessing daily. And exactly this repressed anger has been triggered since the North Node of the Moon switched into Aries and began a difficult nodal return in my chart. To add to the karmic unfolding I am also having a transit of Saturn to my Mercury and Sun. This means that the angry matches I grew up witnessing in my childhood are now showing up in my personal relationships, forcing me to feel and process my anger but also to feel shame for witnessing a part of my Self ‘acting like my own parents’. The paradox being: that for years, I have been so afraid of becoming like them, and now I simply cannot help becoming like them. And anger and shame are difficult feelings to go through each day.

    Now I don’t know if the anxiety and sadness I have been feeling since the year began (and for which I sought professional help) was actually premonitory in some way. Was my body telling me that grief would enter my life and therefore I should prepare for it? My intuition has been at an all time high this year and my sensitivity to things in my environment has been exaggerated. I developed misophonia and am easily triggered by loud and unknown sounds which disturb my activities. I spent most of 2024 with my ears protected by large, high-quality headphones which would block environmental sounds as it was the only way I could go within and find peace.

    For the first time in a long while it felt awkward to follow my intuition, perhaps as Saturn in Pisces is currently ‘freezing’ the organic link I had to my intuition, bringing up a lot of self-doubt. I must admit that being on medication was keeping me calm and balanced, so I could help my parents through these trying times. But in the summer of this year, I released a job and my medication after finding out my therapist was just using me for money. Moreover, when my help was misconstrued as cold self-interest rather than one of the few ways in which my parents allowed me to show love to them, something snapped inside of me and I had to introduce a boundary between us. There simply is no other way for me to cope and to keep experiencing a healing warmth when all the energy I give is being used against me. So I am now my own ‘warmth motor’ and creating, writing, reading and divinating is helping me feel at home in the world again.

    As I am living at the moment inside my boundaried existence, I also keep wondering if something inside of my own body, some sort of genetic code awakening was out of sorts because the gene pool from which I come was getting sicker and sicker? Are we telepathically & empathically linked to our parents as much as we are genetically conditioned and biologically connected to them? When the source organism gets sick (the parent) does the derivative (the child) also begin to experience physical symptoms as they both are preparing for an inevitable separation? As our relatives depart, does something depart inside of us too? Could this be why people who have lost a lot of family members develop psychological disorders?

    I can’t help but wonder. But on a spiritual level, I feel that I am slowly releasing a karmic counterpart, and I see dad’s illness as a relief from the sadness of his life. He doesn’t really enjoy being here, in this incarnation, and as afraid as I see that he now is to depart from it, I believe the departure in itself is not shocking or scary, but a blessing for him. I just don’t want him to suffer too much. Despite this, I made the conscious decision to separate myself from my family, raising a boundary between me and them for a while, as I am piecing myself into what I hope is a stronger person. Being so attached to them, unfortunately prolonged a lot of my own co-dependency tendencies and suffering, and it feels better to just focus on my own healing, as they are dealing with their own.

    Whichever outcome, I am spiritually preparing for many possibilities, trying to make peace with whatever the Universe wants to manifest. But the whole experience has been revelatory since it reminded me that feeling broken or at least broken apart by life’s shocks and experiences, is a way to help put your Self back together again in a new way. Once the pieces of your authentic Self fall into place you get to experience a deep sense of warmth. It’s as if your solar light, your Sun sign as we know it in astrology, gets to be expressed again at full light and in full energy, helping you feel again at home in your mind and body. After an ordeal and as you process it you begin exuding a comforting light for those who may also struggle to be themselves and make healthy choices during trying times. Like a lighthouse in a bleak storm, you are the centre guiding others to their destinations.

    With universal love,

    Lexi