Tag: love

  • The Dark Romance of Jupiter Meeting the North Node, Saturn, Neptune and Uranus

    Final scene of Nosferatu (2024) directed by Robert Eggers, taken from https://taliesinttlg.blogspot.com/2025/04/nosferatu-2024-review.html

    The final leg of this intense Mercury retrograde in Scorpio/Sagittarius reminds us that we are currently under a beautiful astrological configuration, brought about by the meeting of Jupiter in Cancer (at 24° 47′ degrees) together with Saturn (25° 15′), the North Node ( 24° 24′), Neptune in Pisces (29° 45′) and also Uranus in Taurus (29° 16′). These 4 massive planets of our solar system, together with the lunar nodal axis in Pisces/Virgo, are cozying up to each other within the span of 5 degrees and forming pleasant and harmonious trines and sextiles.

    With so much soothing Water and Earth energy in the sky, the air feels thick with generative emotions, creating a fertile, spiritual ground for romantic ideas. But because Earth and Water romantic energy is often tinged with serious and rather heavy feelings such as melancholy, yearning, loss, sadness, possessiveness, forgiveness, and low self-worth, it develops a rather gothic and dark sheen.

    Collectively speaking, it took us a while to get here after a year that began with considerable chaos and irritations (and I blame Jupiter in detriment in the sign of Gemini for that). At the beginning of this year, most of us felt lost, almost like we dissolved and had to let go of things and people we felt emotionally attached to. This loss created spaces in our hearts, in our minds and in our homes that are now being watered and replenished by the rich soil of new seeds, a life germinating with so much emotional potential. A life which awaits the simple spark of Saturn re-entering Aries in the month of February 2026 to light up. Until then, we have time to reflect on what exactly this year was, and I’m personally choosing to do so through the medium of film.

    Saturn & the Bleeding Father Wound

    I think it’s significant that from a cinematic viewpoint we began the year with big releases such as Nosferatu and are ending it with Frankenstein. The Zeitgeist denotes a growing fascination with horror in our collective, both in terms of movies, but also in the gaming world. Could it be that the realm of horror in art is helping us deal with our own crippling existential anxieties in a collapsing socio-political environment? We usually associate the Archetype of the Father with the spark of vitality, with the energy to overcome obstacles, to boldly face life’s challenges and to contribute to society. But as society and social norms are dissolving right before our eyes, is our conception of the protective and all-encompassing Father Figure also crumbling?

    Much like it was gorgeously shown in Guillermo del Toro’s Frankenstein, are we left with hunting the monsters of our own psyche, placing upon those on the fringes of society the monstrous qualities of our unintegrated, collective Shadow? Is this why it feels so difficult to exist as a non-conformist, sensitive and creative person in a global village in which everyone thinks the same, looks the same and feels nothing?

    Movie still of Mia Goth and Jacob Elordi in Guillermo del Toro’s “Frankenstein”. Taken from: https://www.cbr.com/netflixs-frankenstein-final-trailer/

    If masculinity then appears distorted in our collective unconscious do we transform it into something perverse or perhaps expect it to be perverse? Because things usually exist in pairs, then we cannot speak of a ‘perverse’ or ‘distorted’ form of masculinity haunting the collective without shedding light on its opposite: the higher-minder, redeeming image of man, as a defender, protector and spiritual guide. This is why we may have these counter-trends proliferating in the collective at the moment, being swept over by both religious fervour (see Rapture Tok) and smutty satisfaction (see Werewolf Romances or Biker Tok). There’s a lot more to say on this topic but I’ll let Jungian Analyst and prolific fairy-tale collector, Marie-Louise von Franz explain the psychological tendencies:

    People of all ages needed an inner guide to help them overcome life's trials. This need has prompted people to see in certain individuals, gods or deified inspired personalities, the personification of all the skills they are looking for. When people are confronted with this impulse, the father archetype often appears, bearing the image of a deified or god-like counselor.
    - p. 255, Archetypal Symbols in Fairy-Tales: The Profane and the Magical.

    So, at present, are we choosing (more or less consciously) to worship a Demonic Father, a Destructive God which imbued with our own unacknowledged heavy feelings, has the power to obliterate us? Are we then seeking redemption through destruction? And how do these collective energies in which we exist daily end up affecting our behaviours, especially our gendered attachments?

    Some Uranus in Taurus Witchcraft

    For me, 2025 started with a trip to the local movie house to see Nosferatu, a movie I was eagerly waiting for. Stuffed in my seat liked a tinned sardine with a big crowd in a room that was hellishly warm because the air conditioning was not at full capacity on that cold January evening, I was too distracted to enjoy the movie by the bickering couple sitting next to me who had also berated me for not sitting in my proper place (aka the one I bought the ticket for). Nonetheless, I loved the movie! The dark aesthetics lingered in my mind, as well as that unforgettable, final scene, symbolic of the painting Death and the Maiden (see first image of this post).

    After the movie, I came home and felt a sudden and overwhelming urge to take a bath. But rationally I told myself “No, don’t take a bath, because you are during your period at your day with the highest flow and you will literally bathe in your own blood if you do”.

    Stupidly enough, I listened to reason and learned to regret it, because I woke up the next day with a severe cold that locked me in bed for the next 3 days. After I recovered, and being an impressionable Pisces, I felt that somehow the dark and evil nature of the monster portrayed in Nosferatu was somehow “stuck” to me and made me feel physically ill. I did some occult research and discovered that bathing in your own blood is actually a protective strategy that can help someone let go of the slimy energetic strings that were attached to her through the malevolent evil eye of others (or in my case, the bad vibes of the bickering, dramatic couple sitting next to me in the cinema). Menstrual blood is especially powerful, as it contains both death and the seeds of life alongside with the protective energy of the discarded uterine lining.

    The entire experience was yet another lesson in learning how to trust and listen to my insights, visions and intuition. For a while after that, I was kind of afraid of re-watching Nosferatu because I associated the movie with getting ill and did not want to repeat the experience. Nonetheless, I decided to face my fear and saw the movie once again, at the end of August this time, projected onto the barren wall of my bedroom. Alone, in stillness, only disturbed by a cool breeze from the summer air wafting through my room, the slow sound of traffic and the crickets outside, I finally enjoyed the movie. I also did not catch a cold or argued with strangers and I saved my pocket money for candles and crystals.

    Just as a sidenote, having lived through a lot of things in life and travelled extensively, I generally recommend solitary experiences to collective ones. Solitude truly is a gift and we should learn to value it and appreciate it more. That being said, this post is about love 🙂

    Or better said, it is about romance and the way it blends with love at the level of our unconscious dark fantasies under this blissful astrological configuration covering the months of November and December of 2025.

    Jupiter, the Quirky Dark Romantic

    When two of the planetary giants of our solar systems (Saturn and Jupiter) find themselves shining through two of the most sensitive, soft and romantic Water signs, a deep rollercoaster of emotions is unleashed onto the collective. Socially, we find ourselves at the mercy of attachment triggers, insecurity hot-spots and conflicting emotions. Much of the anger we get to experience in the collective, has at its root a terrifying sadness and fear of abandonment.

    Despite, their romantic nature, sweetness and adaptability, Cancer and Pisces can be the bringers of great suffering and pain in their lives and the lives of those they come into contact with. This happens when instead of understanding, accepting and mastering their emotionality, they succumb to it or they repress it (by pushing what they feel deep in their unconscious), thereby fuelling their Shadow Selves. People who succumb to their Shadow and live governed by their unconscious desires, become that very thing that they fear: the monsters, those with a great capacity for harm and psychological damage.

    Cole Sprouse and Kathryn Newton in ‘Lisa Frankenstein.’ Michele K. Short, image taken from https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/movies/movie-reviews/lisa-frankenstein-review-kathryn-newton-cole-sprouse-diablo-cody-1235816547/

    Since Jupiterian matters are simultaneously light-hearted and yet filled with rich meaning, I need to say a couple of words here about the wonder-fest that Lisa Frankenstein is. I discovered this Diablo Cody creation this year and have already seen it thrice, I just love it so much! Flipping the script on the male-dominated plot of Frankenstein, this movie has a certain unique, camp charm combined with female ingenuity on the background of an 80s synth-wave trip. The plot revolves around strange Lisa who lives with her father, her step-mom and step-sister in a sleepy, suburban neighbourhood. Her life is marred by a gruesome event that traumatised her childhood and makes her rather reclusive. She takes her social awkwardness and fantasizes in a bachelor’s cemetery about her ideal boyfriend while dabbling in some light witchcraft.

    Then on a stormy day she accidentally brings to life a young noble-man who zombies his way to her house to profess undying love to her. He is disabled and smells awful but his heart seems in the right place. To make him human-looking again she has to come up with some creative ideas, and thank God she knows how to sew! Chaos ensues in the sweetest and most psychotic way possible, and I guarantee you will find it hard to guess the ending.

    The fascinating thing about Lisa Frankenstein is how her rage and overall teen angst is somehow projected onto the Creature, who ends up putting into action her murderous intent and sadistic fantasies, especially geared towards her borderline step-mother. By falling in love with her, the Creature somehow redeems Lisa of her lowest desires and darker feelings. Their weird, beyond-the-grave love has therefore, cathartic properties, reminding us (again, from a flipped gendered-perspective this time), that love has the power to quench rage and transform death into life again.

    This is a delightful movie, considering how low on romantic outputs the past few years have been in Hollywood. I also love the trend of 80s inspired dark romances and slashers. Inevitably, this movie sent me thinking of Totally Killer, a movie I added to this year’s Halloween list of recommended frights.

    Neptune or When you Love the Monster

    Judging by the rising popularity of creepy, dark romance content on Book Tok, I think it can be said that this year, under the wounded and distorted, paternal energy of the Saturn-Neptune conjunction and Chiron in the sign of Aries (which I wrote about in a previous post), we are all unconsciously processing our strained relationship to men and masculinity, and especially to our fathers, the first men we loved.

    Increasingly, it seems that the fine line between the sado-masochistic content of personal fantasies is pervading the collective, who find enjoyment and liberation in stirring up social discoussion around these darkly, ecstatic experiences. This is also driven by greed, a typical manifestation of Uranus in Taurus energy, because what is taboo, forbidden or mysterious usually sells really well.

    Nonetheless, I wonder what this form of dark consumption is doing to our psyches in the long-run? Like a Halloween Bacchanal taking place in the privacy of your home and on your phone’s lit up screen, a gallery of perversions and dehumanising acts are misinterpreted as sexy and romantic to rather cringe-worthy heights. Could this be a marker of our sexual appetites changing or of a collective call for desensitization brought about by the transit of emotionally detached and freaky Pluto in Aquarius?

    I’ll let you find your own answers to this one.

    Movie still of Tyler Galpin and Wednesday Addams from Wednesday Season 2. Taken from: https://www.sportskeeda.com/us/shows/he-s-f-king-evil-internet-divided-whether-wednesday-tyler-end-together-wednesday-season-2

    In all honesty, I’ve also been consuming this year a lot of analogue horror content and I began listening to heavy metal. With Jupiter’s transit into nostalgic Cancer, and at my therapist’s request, I started looking for ways to consume the pent-up rage I have been feeling towards my mother in the wake of my father’s death. Taking walks at night-time, drawing monsters and shadow figures, cursing people who harmed me and listening to heavy metal were such sublimation strategies to process my anger. And I admit that as time passes, these sublimation strategies are working and I felt lighter. My mind is also remembering the background to my teenage years, mired in the foreboding sound of bands like System of a Down, Korn and Slipknot. Paradoxically, hearing men scream feels like they are screaming for me, in my name, in the name of the soul inside of me grappling to catch light again.

    However, using creepy symbols, scary masks and war paint, dancing and shouting were also survival strategies our ancestors used when faced with the dark forces of disease and violence. Sometimes you become scary when you feel at your most vulnerable and are frightened yourself. As a protective strategy – you become that which you fear in an effort to push back on the energy crossing your boundaries and consuming your identity. This is where the fathomless creatures of Neptune, the God of the Sea, rear their ugly heads, in the realm of dreams and in the silent waters of our inner emotional reservoir. We sometimes reach down inside this fantasy realm to gather the strength to fight the beasts surrounding us, whether human or imaginary. And sometimes to overcome the darkness, we must become it, this being the behaviour encouraged by the camouflaging tendencies of Neptune, domicile in the sign of Pisces.

    Recently in the second season of Wednesday, we’ve seen the overt conflict between Tyler and Wednesday, as it is now revealed that he is indeed the Hyde and therefore highly dangerous. Tyler is locked away in an asylum, seething in his rage at being betrayed by the Addams family prodigy, he once felt so attracted to but also attempted to murder. Although both Tyler and Wednesday are exploring their difficult attachments to their mother figures in this season, the overall feeling I had while watching the narrative unfold is the terrible weight of loving somebody who is overwhelmed by their Shadow, to the point of having a monstrous alter-ego.

    From a paternal point of view, I also found it interesting that Tyler’s father is ashamed of his son, while Wednesday’s father is proud of her. Could this psychological resource determine the boldness that Wednesday shows in directly facing Tyler in Hyde form, the monster she loves? (it is to be assumed that love is involved, since Wednesday so obviously displays psychopathic tendencies which normally inhibit affect).

    Although Tyler is the one in visible chains, Wednesday is the one having to deal with the emotional repercussions of loving someone monstruous, someone who consistently helps her and also harms her. But this tendency exists inside of herself too. Underneath her amateur detective Persona, Wednesday harbours towards Tyler the simultaneous desire to help him while also fighting with him.

    In general, it seems that in the absence of meaningful myths to guide us we have been seduced to fall into the cesspool of dark fantasy images produced by contemporary culture and social media. It could be an act of creative absolution to reclaim myths and fairy-tales that align with our values and personal identities and use these as meaningful shields against collective dissolution, meaninglessness and cheap thrills. Maybe experiencing dark romances or exploring our Shadow aspects in love connections, could be the liberating way forward, where instead of pressuring each other into unsustainable, positive ever-afters, we process our pain and wounding into powerful and energy-giving, romantic transformations.

    With universal love,

    Lexi

  • Re-Love

    Edvard Munch – Lovers in the Waves (Elskende par i bolger), 1896. See more here: https://www.guggenheim.org/artwork/artist/edvard-munch

    It’s Spring, and to detract from the heaviness of my previous post here’s a playlist for romantic renewal. Because love, this invisible energy binding us all, continues to matter and to exist. And it can be found inside of you. However, if you’ve been feeling like I have recently, despondent and melancholic, let’s resort to some readily available auditory medicine.

    The following songs from these amazing alternative artists work heavily on your heart chakra to make you feel good and get you…in the mood for love. Adorned to the titles themselves you will also find small snipits of my favourite lyrics from these songs (most of which are also great dance tunes…) :

    1. Niluefer Yanya – Midnight Sun

    “Love is raised by common thieves
    Hiding diamonds up their sleeves
    Always I did it for you
    Never felt so sure
    You’re my best machine
    You’re my midnight sun”

    2. Idles – Grace

    “Give me grace, give me light
    Hold me up as I take flight
    Make me safe, away from harm
    Please caress my swollen heart
    Make me pure”

    3. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club – Echo

    “Maybe you’re a little fire
    You’ve been drowning your own desires
    But every time I see you smile, the heavens move”

    4. Fontaines DC – I love you

    “Well, I love you, imagine a world without you
    It’s only ever you, I only think of you
    And if it’s a blessing, I want it for you
    If I must have a future, I want it with you”

    5. Angus and Julia Stone – Chateau

    “Corner in your converse
    Living on the outskirts
    Trying just to figure it out
    Talking like a deadbeat, I just wanted you to see
    Everything that I could see
    Walking in the night sky, I’m always on your side
    You were really saving me”

    6. Father John Mysty – Screamland

    “Picked me up and drove by the light of the moon
    Four hours to the desert from the drawing room
    This year’s wine tasted suspicious but just enough like love
    God must be with the outcasts ’cause when I call, you come”

    7. HAIM – Summer Girl

    “I need you to understand
    These are the earthquake drills that we ran
    Under the freeway overpasses
    The tears behind your dark sunglasses
    The fears inside your heart as deep as gashes
    Walk beside me, not behind me
    Feel my unconditional love”

    8. Vampire Weekend – Prep-School Gangsters

    “Call me jealous, call me mad, now I’ve got the thing you had
    Somewhere in your family tree, there was someone just like me”

    9. Sharon van Etten – Jupiter 4

    “Touching your face
    How’d it take a long, long time
    To be here

    Turning the wheel on my street
    My heart still skips a beat”

    10. Clairo – White Flag

    “Grown apart and we’re so far gone
    But I’m waving the white flag
    Sending my love back, move on”

    With universal love,

    Lexi

  • Supervillains

    Photo of Elon Musk [FILE: Mike Segars/Reuters] taken from: https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2024/9/24/elon-musks-wars-brazil-to-australia-uk-to-us-the-x-owners-many-battles

    A couple of hours just shy off the presidential inauguration of Donald Trump’s second chance at ruling the US, I was looking into the Elon Musk and Asmongold drama, replete with leaked DMs, removed gaming credentials and some direct accusations of Musk being a fake gamer. I found it hilarious and somehow in my weird astrologer’s brain something clicked; something I noticed a while back and I feel the need to unearth in this article and to get deeper into. I vaguely remembered that both Trump and Musk shared a really interesting astrological aspect in common: they both have a Venus conjunct Saturn in their natal charts! Normally, this aspect would portent an individual destiny marred by financial limits, setbacks and struggles, so how come these two men were put in charge with rescuing the economy of one of the biggest country’s in the world and the literal birth-place of capitalism to add to that?

    As the current planetary transits also involve the conjunction between Venus in Pisces conjunct Saturn in Pisces in the month of January 2025, I thought that the synchronicities were too good to miss out on. So, as I lie in bed covered in tissues and sipping from hot tea in a desperate attempt to get rid of a flu that is kicking my ass for a week now, allow me to entertain myself and potentially you as a valued reader with an analysis of the chart of Donald Trump and Elon Musk. It will be a light-hearted analysis, focused mainly on the weird astrological connections between these two goofy, powerful men who have the potential to really mess up world politics in the next 4 years. We truly live through magical times, and magical thinking is required now more than ever to survive…

    In my opinion, Elon Musk is a good example of what stress, power, over-fucking and a poor diet can do to a man’s brain. A man who had the potential to be great, in culturally significant and invention-empowering ways, but who sadly got lost in the hubris of making money for the sake of making money, and acting out in super-sensitive ways if things don’t go his way. These characteristics all feed into the creation of the super-villain, a man who ends up sitting on the wrong side of history due to an unstable character and the misuse of ridiculous financial and political power. And the saddest part is that he could do so much good with this power, as long as he remembers to be grateful for his power and to use it wisely. But attaining wisdom is not really Musk’s destiny..

    Image of the birth-chart of Elon Musk taken from https://www.astro-seek.com/

    His chart shows me that Musk was born with a sensitive Sun in Cancer in the softest house of the zodiac, the 12th house. So, he is a Cancerian who borrows traits from a Piscean (jeez talk about being super sensitive!) Not only that but his Ascendant is in Cancer with Mercury perfectly conjunct it, adding a Geminian vibe to any first impression he makes, and thereby adding to this super brainy persona that he likes to indulge in, but keep in mind that this is just a front as the Ascendant is not who he really is at the core. His core comprises of a Moon in Virgo conjunct the Part of Fortune and Pluto, as Musk, it needs to be remembered is a Gen X-er. Due to all of this more or less conscious Mercurian energy surrounding his lunar placement and his Mercury conjunct the Ascendant, Musk identifies with his thoughts and wants to come across as a youthful, vibrant, funny and smart lad. In reality he is an anxious and obsessed, control-freak who is struggling to keep up with the times. This aspect is further emphasized because Musk was born with a South Node in Leo in the first house, so therefore his comfort zone is being himself and this Self is rather poorly placed in the least modest sign of the zodiac: Leo, the ruler, the playful but belligerent and self-aggrandising big baby of the zodiac.

    This placement puts his growth zone in the opposite sign of Leo, that being Aquarius and to add spice to this, the Universe decided to have Musk’s Mars placement conjunct his North Node too, a fact I immediately attribute to Musk’s obsession with conquering and exploiting the planet Mars (as we know, the North Node is a point of excessive growth and obsession). Furthermore, Musk’s Midheaven is in Aries, a sign ruled by Mars, and another sign of how the public perceives him: as a pioneer, as a brave and bold guy who takes risks and chances, as someone who fucks around a lot and has a lot of children (even if he is trying to intellectualize his lusty appetite by saying he is helping to repopulate the planet; I attribute his high libido and pleasure in procreating to his natal Jupiter in Scorpio conjunct Neptune in Sagittarius in the 5th house, the house of fun and children). As we see that his Midheaven is conjunct Chiron, the Wounded Healer, there is tinge of woundedness and super-sensitivity that makes him come across as a man who is more vulnerable than we would like, a leader who suffers and is not necessarily physically ill but in terms of the fragility of his Ego, since as we know Aries rules the Ego and the Self. Ideally, he would learn from life’s challenges and spread wisdom to the masses, a wisdom that can be deeply healing and inspiring. I mean he does have the power and the platform to do so; however seeing as his internal astrological chemistry contains so much Air (North Node and Mars in Aquarius, Gemini Venus and Saturn, Uranus and Lilith in Libra), he seems to be taking a superficial and technological approach to how he is handling his Chiron and therefore misses the chance for true emotional growth through processing the real pain of feeling less worthy than other men around him.

    As Musk has been experiencing his Chiron return since 2018 and has been having the transit of Jupiter and then the North Node moving across his highly visible 10th house and the Midheaven in the last 3 years, more of this under-utilised and misinterpreted Chirotic energy made itself know to the public. It will be fascinating to see how the public’s perception of Musk (already at a considerable low) will change in the next two years and a half as Saturn and Neptune will enter Aries and begin affecting his professional legacy, as it will bring up some more of his deeply painful Chirotic energy to the surface.

    I think the interesting aspect to Musk is that he tends to make a likeable supervillain, one who can be cool and down with the kids, goofing around, acting nerdy and speaking in boyish and charming ways that put a comic intent on most of his affirmations; affirmations that have the potential to considerably change the course of the stock market. A powerful man who wants to look like the eternal cool teenager, the nerd who outsmarted them all and built a technological empire and is now impregnating the world to preserve the human race. Allegedly 🙂 I attribute all these qualities to what I consider to be the key to his sudden rise to success and maybe even the reason to his future downfall: his Venus in Gemini loosely conjunct Saturn in the 11th house.

    Let’s have a brief look over Donald Trump’s chart now:

    Photo of Donald Trump and image of his birth-chart taken from https://www.astro-seek.com/

    So Trump was born as a Sun in Gemini in the 10th house conjunct the North Node & Uranus, two aspects which make him highly volatile and unpredictable! He has a Moon in Sagittarius conjunct the South Node and Lilith and sitting opposite the Sun, which means that he was born during a Full Moon and he is someone who is lucky with partnerships and needs to be in a stable and long-term connection because he is quite inter-dependent. His Moon sits in the 4th house the place of roots, family, nation – a nationalistic house, so I don’t doubt him when he says he is a patriot. He has an Ascendant in Leo (conjunct Mars in the 12th house & loosely conjunct Pluto, cause he’s a Boomer). The current transit of Jupiter in Gemini is harmoniously helping him with being seen in a positive, funny and helpful light, but this transit is frustrating his Saturn, Venus and Mercury. Nonetheless the current transit of Saturn in Pisces is supporting his inner planets especially that Venus in Cancer conjunct Saturn in Cancer in the 11th house (conjunct Venus almost perfectly and loosely conjunct Mercury). Trump has Neptun conjunct Jupiter in Libra so people born with a Sun in Libra, like his daughter Ivanka, in a weird way make him happy and bring him prestige and good luck. He also has the 7th house in Aquarius and the generation born with the Uranus, Neptune in Aqua combo may idealise him (1998 – 2003).

    But let’s return to his Venus conjunction to Saturn in the shy and sensitive sign of Cancer and compare it to Musk’s Venus conjunction to Saturn in the brainy and speedy sign of Gemini. In her book on Saturn, Liz Green describes Venus-Saturn contacts in synastry as:

    This is the aspect par excellence of emotional rejection, and it is a difficult one to deal with unless it is taken as an opportunity to discover whether any reality lies behind the projections of the relationship. We know that Venus is the chief significator or symbol of affection, love and harmony, and the urge for companionship. As a reflection of the individual’s capacity to relate to others, Venus expresses with charm, grace and ease those qualities which Saturn cannot freely demonstrate. She will also often suggest a sense of taste and refinement in those areas where Saturn finds himself clumsy, inept, inhibited and cramped. Venus is the eternal lover and the eternal youth and this can very naturally upset Saturn, who may have a tendency to react with jealousy, possessiveness, suspicion, and a feeling of unattractiveness or social ineptness. But it seems to be an empiric fact that Venus-Saturn contacts, whether they appear on a natal chart or in the comparison of charts, have the tendency to bring first, great unhappiness of a peculiarly personal kind and second, great opportunity for the establishment of an honest relationship – something which is rarely seen. A relationship may occur out of expediency, out of a need for financial security, or a general loneliness. It may also occur because an additional responsibility such as a child makes it impossible to consider any alternative situation. Some relationships occur under family pressure or for religious or moral reasons. Often Venus-Saturn contacts will be seen in these situations, for the other side of this tie is the duty-over-love side, and it will frequently occur in relation to money. There is frequently a tie of financial obligation involved with Venus-Saturn contacts which binds two people long after the affection has ceased to exist.

    In my experience, I noticed that it was usually people who were single for a very long time who sought my astrological services and had this Venus-Saturn aspect in their chart. Saturn tends to freeze or dry up whatever it sits near to and when it embraces Venus to such a close degree, it tends to dry up a person’s love life and personal love energy; in this context, giving and receiving love tends to be an awkward process, filled with blocks and inhibitions that lead to romantic rejection and disappointment. Both Trump and Musk have this aspect which would explain why they are so weird and gauche with women, benefiting from either the attention of a lot of low-vibrational women and lewd liaisons that end up harming their reputation or coupling with high-vibrational, intelligent and beautiful women who they don’t know how to treat, appreciate and respect, so those connections end up in painful and public separations. Venus-Saturn doesn’t only affect in a negative way the way they love others, but also the love and respect they show themselves which is relatively low in both cases: Musk is known for skipping sleep or sleeping on the floor of his work office in an effort to show how committed he is to his innovative work, while Trump is a big lover of junk food and has shamelessly admitted to this several times. Eating poorly, not getting enough sleep, not valuing the way they look or dress not only changes their brain chemistry for the worse and gets them to declare stupid things in the press but it has ripple consequences on the way in which others perceive them; both Musk and Trump seem to think that only money and power will grant them the respect they would normally achieve by simply taking better care of their bodies and their health and feeling through reality in a more sensual and present way. Paying closer attention to details, slowly, carefully and patiently working through their duties rather than simply winging things all the time and declaring themselves geniuses for how fast and decisive they work, may help them both to improve a lot of ongoing issues in their lives and reduce personal and public dramas.

    Sue Tompkins, reflecting on the Venus-Saturn aspect in the book by the same name, describes this energy as:

    For some reason, it seems that those with Venus-Saturn contacts come into the world feeling unloved. For many, it takes years for the penny to drop that the issue is really self-valuation. Before that realization dawns, Venus-Saturn people tend to believe, though not always consciously, that it is others that don’t care, others that don’t love them. Saturn will always delay the development of whatever planetary principle it touches, and for Venus-Saturn types it takes time for the individual to learn about giving and receiving – and especially giving and receiving with no strings attached (…) these types almost expect rejection and are very sensitive to, nay listen out for, any clues which might herald the fact that the other person’s love has waned. And the constant demand for proof of affection and for the other person to continually define their feelings often does put a considerable strain on the relationships as does the continual saying of ‘I’m sorry’ which is often very much a Venus-Saturn phrase. Venus-Saturn men often find themselves doing all the loving of seemingly cold women. The Venus-Saturn person often attempts to make themselves indispensable to their loved ones and especially ever willing to give of their time or their money and this is how Venus-Saturn controls the relationship. The issue of love and time is often a very big one with Venus-Saturn. You can tell that a Venus-Saturn person cares for you if they are prepared to give you their time and similarly, they use the time-factor as a yardstick of your affection. Lack of time and subsequent denial of affection was often an issue in childhood. Issues of denial of love, control and love, and love and punishment are also pertinent here. At worst the person builds a wall around themselves and wails because nobody loves them. Saturn always give endurance and thus the Venus-Saturn person can describe the one who holds on through thick and thin and through doing so, really does make a relationship work, really does learn to give and take. People with these contacts do better after the initial attraction and illusion has worn off.

    Seeing as Trump is about to begin his second term as president, and his relationship to the USA has ripened, it may very well be that trying again could work in his favour this time. Although this may make sense emotionally, from a logical point of view I still wonder why Americans have given their vote of confidence to a man who went bankrupt thrice in his career and they expect such an individual to rescue their economy? It’s like getting your stylist to take care of your taxes or hiring an illiterate person to read you bed time stories. Nonetheless, it is important to keep in mind that the president won’t fulfill his duties alone and that there are other powerful men sitting in the shadows and guiding Trump towards making the decisions that need to be taken, and I attribute this love for his flexibility to why he has won the second term in the first place. His Venus-Saturn contact shows that because of inherent father issues and feeling unloved at a deep level, he will continue to bend over backwards to please the men in his life, no matter how outwardly confrontational he may come across when talking to them (don’t be fooled by that Mars in Leo on the Ascendant, who is all roar but no bite). And an example of this is getting Musk to rule alongside him by conferring him the power to organise the Department of Government Efficiency, a right-wing sounding branch of the future Trump administration.

    Voices in the world of journalism say that the bromance between these two Venus-afflicted men will not last long, but my opinion is that as long as they both continue to make decisions that profit them, and continue to raise their assets and investments, then there would be no logical reason for why they should call it quits. In the absence of love, both these men will continue to fill the voids in their hearts with the comforting zing of green dollar bills, and spread similar materialistic values into the society, poisoning it from within. One of the reasons, why we have reached this point may very well be that with their powerful and low-vibrational Venus-Saturn contacts they are simply mirroring the unconscious projections of society at large gone wrong, in these brave two thousand twenties times. As ‘beacons of light’ in a cold, cruel and loveless world, both Trump and Musk blare out from our screens with messages of progress and finding all the comfort you need in making money, because if you think that people won’t love you, the heavy-handed arm of capitalism will always make you believe that at least you are just as worthy as the things that you purchase.

    With universal love,

    Lexi

  • Romantic Realist

    This post is more of a playlist than anything else. To remind myself and others that love is still possible and that it can be found in the irregularities, mistakes and issues of everyday life. One of the least sentimental and most romantic rock bands, whose music stood the test of time, has been the American band The National. I used to religiously listen to them in high-school, specifically their brilliantly undertstated album ‘Alligator’. Then I got the pleasure of seeing them live in the Netherlands at the Lowlands festival and in special gig at Edinburgh’s Queen Hall, which I was fortunate enough to live in close proximity to, at that time.

    And because ysterday, I drank some champagne for Christmas and Youtube randomly started playing ‘Quiet light’ in the background, just as the clock turned to midnight, I thought I’d put together a top 10 of my favourite love songs from The National with some lyrics that stand out to me. So courtesy of singer Matt Berninger (an Aquarius Sun) and the band, here are the songs I most listen to when I want to feel loved and hopeful:

    1. Brainy : You know I keep your fingerprints in a pink folder in the middle of my table / You’re the tall kingdom I surround / Think I better follow you around / You might need me more than you think you will / Come home in the car you love, brainy brainy brainy
    2. Conversation 16 : I’ll try to be more romantic / I wanna believe in everything you believe / I was less than amazing / Do not know what all the troubles are for / I fall asleep in your branches / You’re the only thing I ever want anymore
    3. Val Jester : Build a fire for Val Jester / Build a room for your love / Take your time when you tell her / How she lives in your blood
    4. Quiet Light : But I’m learning to lie here in the quiet light / While I watch the sky go from black to grey/ Learning how not to die inside a little every time / I think about you and wonder if you are awake
    5. Start a War : Whatever went away, I’ll get it over now / I’ll get money, I’ll get funny again / Walk away now and you’re gonna start a war
    6. Terrible Love : It’s a terrible love and I’m walkin’ with spiders / It’s a terrible love and I’m walkin’ in / This quiet company
    7. The system only dreams in total darkness : Maybe I listen more than you think / And I can tell that somebody sold you / We said we’d never let anyone in / We said we’d only die of lonely secrets
    8. I need my girl : I am good, I am grounded / Davy says that I look taller / But I can’t get my head around it / I keep feeling smaller and smaller
    9. City middle : You said “I think I’m like Tennessee Williams” / I wait for the click, I wait, but it doesn’t kick in / I think I’m like Tennessee Williams / I wait for the click, I wait, but it doesn’t kick in
    10. About Today : Hey, are you awake? / Yeah, I’m right here / Well can I ask you /About today? /How close am I / To losing you?

    With universal love,

    Lexi

  • The Warmth

    Olafur Eliasson: The Weather Project. Image taken from The Guardian https://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/2018/oct/02/how-we-made-olafur-eliasson-the-weather-project

    I don’t know how else to deal with big things, except by writing about them.

    I’m sitting on a chair and talking. And as I talk something shifts in my mind. I understand. There is a logical thread now linking two disparate memories. All of a sudden a flood of warm sensations washes over my body and it feels like my frontal lobe & then my whole brain softens. I just had a breakthrough in my therapist’s office. And my body reacted to it by making me feel warm. It is this warmth I seek now, as guidance that healing is taking place & parts of me, like tectonic plates, instead of being pulled apart by hot, gushing lava, are sutured back together. A female Frankenstein, but on the inside. By making sense of the difficult experiences in my life, I release a pleasing warmth in my body, an emotional nectar that heals wounds which have been buried so deep inside of me, they seem almost invisible. However what is invisible can also be stealthily powerful in affecting our lives in mysterious ways, leading us towards self-undoing and self-harm. The warmth is then a sign that the light of my inner Sun sign is still alive, and that I am real and still alive.

    For the past two months, I have been on anti-depressant and anti-anxiety medication while also undergoing therapy. I started going to art classes while also exercising my body to improve my mental mindset. Slowly things were getting better and lighter until tragedy struck in a swift moment. There is a line in Arcade Fire’s song ‘In the backseat’ that is so heartbreakingly beautiful in the way in which it describes family-related loss and grief: My family tree’s / Losing all it’s leaves. This line stayed with me since high-school when I first heard it, but it’s only in March of this year that I got to feel the full impact of these words. March is my birth month. A month in which nature comes back to life in the Northern hemisphere, where I live. A month in which we celebrate Ostara or the Spring Equinox and the beginning of a new astrological year, as the Sun shines through the 0 degrees in the constellation of Aries (the first sign of the zodiac).

    In March of 2017 I lost my grandma. I also turned 30 and passed my PhD. I was having my Saturn return. And now as Saturn is approaching a conjunction to my natal Sun in Pisces, and I turned 37 years old my father is receiving treatment for cancer and I am no longer able to talk to my parents. I don’t yet know his clear diagnostic but the word ‘metastasis’ has been passed around from doctor to doctor since he fell in the bathtub in February of this year and wasn’t able to get back up. My dad can’t move anymore and there is something sick inside of him that is spreading from organ to organ, binding his insides into a map of darkness. It’s as if one by one parts of him are deciding to shut down and welcome the night. He is tired, and every cell in his body is expressing this at the moment.

    Dad didn’t have an easy life, but neither did he make the best of it. He complied and existed. He showed up and was stoically present while also abusing his body to the extremes. This body is now giving in and we are left to witness the cellular spectacle. If anything, dad is now showing me how much I need to love my own body, and to respect it. As my karmic teacher and through this disease, dad is showing me through the power of a negative example how not to live. He is teaching me indirectly that I should combine work with rest (he almost never took time off, except at weekends), that I should eat well (his diet was atrocious), that I should stay away from toxins (he smoked and drank most of his life) and most importantly, that I should move and stretch and feel my body (he is the most passive man I know). My body and my emotions matter, and as I am strongly feeling these statements I witness how my father’s body and emotions are ending him.

    I wrote about my dad in my book ‘Fatherhood and Love: The Social Construction of Masculine Emotions’, as our difficult relationship is what inspired my interest in how fathers express their love for their children. My dad is not an expressive man. Born with a Sun in Libra, Moon in Capricorn and Leo Ascendant, he is the kind of man who would rather tell dirty jokes as he is being wheeled into a hospital bed by nursing staff than tell his daughters that he loves them. He is actually suspicious of me and the affection I show him. He endures, dissociates and remains silent through it all. He is implacable like a wall when all I am trying to do is to relate to him, to talk to him. I can understand that a part of him has never been fully expressed or developped as he grew up surrounded by women, missing a father and the warmth of brotherhood from other men in his life. So he became a wall, a stranger on ‘foreign feminine’ territory.

    This wall is something I came across many times in all of my relationships with the men I loved and from whom to this day, I have not received any clear confirmation that they may have loved me at some point. The main issue that I wanted to explore in my PhD research and in the book that emerged out of it was: Is storge love something we only feel or also something that we primarily do? I was born into a part of the world in which it was customary to show love rather than put it into words, and in Romania the way people show love or do love is mainly by using food, gifts and money to make you feel cared for. Paradoxically, this same philosophy could be found in the South Node/North Node placements of my parents, with both of them being born in the 1960s and having a South Node in Sagittarius (action) which represents their comfort zones versus their North Node in Gemini (communication) which represents their uncomfortable growth zones.

    Needless to say, I grew up in a household in which screaming matches were a thing rather than calm, considerate communication – there were moments of peace and understanding, but they were not the norm. So I learned to repress my anger in an effort to detach from these fearful mom and dad behaviours which I was witnessing daily. And exactly this repressed anger has been triggered since the North Node of the Moon switched into Aries and began a difficult nodal return in my chart. To add to the karmic unfolding I am also having a transit of Saturn to my Mercury and Sun. This means that the angry matches I grew up witnessing in my childhood are now showing up in my personal relationships, forcing me to feel and process my anger but also to feel shame for witnessing a part of my Self ‘acting like my own parents’. The paradox being: that for years, I have been so afraid of becoming like them, and now I simply cannot help becoming like them. And anger and shame are difficult feelings to go through each day.

    Now I don’t know if the anxiety and sadness I have been feeling since the year began (and for which I sought professional help) was actually premonitory in some way. Was my body telling me that grief would enter my life and therefore I should prepare for it? My intuition has been at an all time high this year and my sensitivity to things in my environment has been exaggerated. I developed misophonia and am easily triggered by loud and unknown sounds which disturb my activities. I spent most of 2024 with my ears protected by large, high-quality headphones which would block environmental sounds as it was the only way I could go within and find peace.

    For the first time in a long while it felt awkward to follow my intuition, perhaps as Saturn in Pisces is currently ‘freezing’ the organic link I had to my intuition, bringing up a lot of self-doubt. I must admit that being on medication was keeping me calm and balanced, so I could help my parents through these trying times. But in the summer of this year, I released a job and my medication after finding out my therapist was just using me for money. Moreover, when my help was misconstrued as cold self-interest rather than one of the few ways in which my parents allowed me to show love to them, something snapped inside of me and I had to introduce a boundary between us. There simply is no other way for me to cope and to keep experiencing a healing warmth when all the energy I give is being used against me. So I am now my own ‘warmth motor’ and creating, writing, reading and divinating is helping me feel at home in the world again.

    As I am living at the moment inside my boundaried existence, I also keep wondering if something inside of my own body, some sort of genetic code awakening was out of sorts because the gene pool from which I come was getting sicker and sicker? Are we telepathically & empathically linked to our parents as much as we are genetically conditioned and biologically connected to them? When the source organism gets sick (the parent) does the derivative (the child) also begin to experience physical symptoms as they both are preparing for an inevitable separation? As our relatives depart, does something depart inside of us too? Could this be why people who have lost a lot of family members develop psychological disorders?

    I can’t help but wonder. But on a spiritual level, I feel that I am slowly releasing a karmic counterpart, and I see dad’s illness as a relief from the sadness of his life. He doesn’t really enjoy being here, in this incarnation, and as afraid as I see that he now is to depart from it, I believe the departure in itself is not shocking or scary, but a blessing for him. I just don’t want him to suffer too much. Despite this, I made the conscious decision to separate myself from my family, raising a boundary between me and them for a while, as I am piecing myself into what I hope is a stronger person. Being so attached to them, unfortunately prolonged a lot of my own co-dependency tendencies and suffering, and it feels better to just focus on my own healing, as they are dealing with their own.

    Whichever outcome, I am spiritually preparing for many possibilities, trying to make peace with whatever the Universe wants to manifest. But the whole experience has been revelatory since it reminded me that feeling broken or at least broken apart by life’s shocks and experiences, is a way to help put your Self back together again in a new way. Once the pieces of your authentic Self fall into place you get to experience a deep sense of warmth. It’s as if your solar light, your Sun sign as we know it in astrology, gets to be expressed again at full light and in full energy, helping you feel again at home in your mind and body. After an ordeal and as you process it you begin exuding a comforting light for those who may also struggle to be themselves and make healthy choices during trying times. Like a lighthouse in a bleak storm, you are the centre guiding others to their destinations.

    With universal love,

    Lexi